warm
by hollstar
Summary: Bella doesn't want to like him... How can you trust anyone with such straight, white teeth? But Edward's warmth is melting her cool demeanour...
1. Chapter 1

WARM  
CHAPTER 1

2 more minutes. My lungs are bursting, my shoulders, arms and legs are burning, but I'm almost there. 2 more minutes. My eyes stare, unfocussed upon the dials in front of me, counting down the seconds, counting up the distance. I keep pushing through, and when there is less than 60 seconds to go I speed up, pushing my body even harder. The timer continues it's descent: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - done! I release the handle of the rowing machine and pull my feet from the footholds, allowing the seat to slide back. Panting, I stand, picking up my workout towel and wipe down the machine, then pat at my forehead and back of my neck. Workout complete.

I spot my childhood friend Emmett over at a weights machine, working his legs. Taking a swallow of water from my drink bottle I wander through the maze of equipment to him, and lean against the edge of his bench, waiting for him to complete his reps.

"Bella!" He smiles as he sits up. "Good to see you here again. You should try and get Rose along one day!"

I laugh, tightening up my hair tie that is only just managing to hold my rebellious wavy locks back from my face. "I've asked her before. She came with me to a step class one day and… well, let's just say it wasn't pretty and she has refused to come back. Never, ever in a million years were her words I believe."

Emmett joins in the laughter. "OK… yeah… a step class would probably not be her idea of fun."

"Nope," I shake my head, my lips popping over the 'p'. "How's all the wedding plans going?"

"Good… I think." Emmett rolls his clear blue eyes.

I frown at him, suspiciously. "You have no idea, do you?"

"Nope," Emmett copies my 'p' popping reply from before. "Although, in my defence, I think the mums are taking most of that stuff over. With both of us being the 'only child' our mums are beyond excited. Plus, with Alice in the picture there is no need for me to step my toes where they don't belong."

"Oh yeah,"I add thoughtfully. "I can imagine Alice knowing everything that she wants and not being able to be talked into anything else, even though it isn't her wedding."

"Sounds about right." Emmett smiles. Alice is my demanding over productive sister. I have been dealing with her manic organisation my entire life. It's nice for her to have a project to focus her enthusiasm, it has made my life a lot easier. Emmett and I went through school together, he's the brother I never had. When he introduced me to Rosalie, the tall statuesque blonde model I expected her to be a clueless bimbo, but she was sweet and kind and good for a laugh. We all became quick friends and when Emmett finally popped the question Alice and I found ourselves in the wedding party.

"Well, you let Rose know that if she needs anything I'd love to be able to help. The dresses are all sorted now, so that's cool. I don't think there's any hope for me getting hitched any time soon, so I can put all my energies into helping you guys."

"Oh Bella, don't tell me you're not fighting off fellas all the time! I bet you have all the doctors at the hospital chasing after you, a naughty nurse like you." Emmett's eyes flash cheekily at me.

I slap him on the shoulder. "Don't be ridiculous. I would never have a relationship with anyone from work."

Emmett laughs, then his eyes scan the gym. "Check out that dude, he looks like good husband material."

I follow his gaze and my eyes land upon one of the body builders that train here regularly. His huge biceps are straining as he attempts to stand with a huge weight over his shoulders. The veins in his forehead are standing out, and sweat is darkening his shorts. "Ew Emmett. He has a sweaty butt. No thanks."

"How about the new guy?" Emmett nods towards the treadmills as he moves towards a different machine. "I think his name is Ethan or Eric or something that begins with 'e'."

I haven't met the new guy yet, and I look over to the treadmills, all next to each other in a huge line, plasma screens in front showing different tv stations. Currently only 2 are in use. One is a woman, the other a tall, lithe looking man. He's probably not as tall as Emmett, which is not hard because Emmett is a serious giant, but his height is hard to judge from where I am. He has dark hair, and it's quite long. I cannot see his face, but his legs are very defined in his dark grey shorts that reach his knees. He's wearing a white t-shirt, which makes his skin look quite tanned. He too has a sweaty butt, although it's a much more attractive butt than that of muscle man over the other side of the gym. From the back, new guy looks pretty hot.

"His butt looks promising." I shrug at Emmett, then see new guy step off of the treadmill, bending to pick up his water bottle and red towel. "Oh, yeah, very promising."

But then, new guy stands and turns and I see his face. "Oh no… he has a beard!" I say in dismay. "Nope, all promise has disappeared. Stop trying to marry me off, Em. I don't need a man, too busy with everything else in my life already."

New guy's eyes scan the room, and he catches sight of Emmett next to me. Recognition spreads over his face, and, smiling he moves over towards us.

"Uh, oh, my cue to leave." I push myself off from my leaning position and go to leave, but Emmett puts his hand out to stop me.

"Just meet him," he hisses at me. "He seemed nice when I met him the other day."

"Hi!" New guy comes to stand in front of us, Emmett stands up and shakes his hand. I was right, new guy is just a bit shorter than Emmett, but next to the average man new guy would be quite a height, well over 6 foot. "Emmett, right? Gerry introduced us the other day when I came to have a look around."

"That's right, man." Emmett's friendly grin takes over his face. "Sorry, mate, but I've forgotten your name…"

"Edward," new guy smiles.

"That's right! I knew it started with an 'E'!"Emmett gestures towards me. "This is my mate Bella, she's a regular and is usually around here somewhere when she's not at work."

Edward beams at me, reaching out his hand to shake mine. I hesitantly grasp his hand, my fingers dwarfed in his. "Hi," he smiles, his eyes dart towards my chest for a second, "Very pleased to meet you, I'm sure we'll see more of each other around here."

Oh dear, he's a charmer. I slightly roll my eyes, "Maybe." Edward has unusually straight, white teeth. I don't think you can trust anyone with teeth that straight. Or white. Maybe it's just because my teeth are slightly crooked and people with straight teeth make me feel bad about myself. When I was a kid my family could never afford to get my teeth fixed, my mum being a single mum with three daughters, funds were a little tight. I always feel a bit defensive when I see people with ultra straight teeth. It means they were probably born with a silver spoon in their mouth: able to afford expensive dental care. Wow, don't I sound bitter. Yep, ok. I have issues. "Well, I've got to head off, see you around Edward. Emmett, tell Rose I'll ring her tomorrow to organise when we can catch up."

Emmett nods at me and continues to converse with straight white teeth, bearded, good butted new guy, Edward. I detour into the toilets on the way out. As I sit, relieving myself, I ponder my funny view of straight teeth. Maybe it is incorrect. Maybe some people just have really good genetics which produce extremely white, straight teeth. But, when I think about it that pisses me off as well, because that is just really unfair too. Why couldn't my Italian father and Australian mother have passed down the white, straight teeth gene onto me and my sisters? Yep. I hate people with straight white teeth.

Everyone except Emmett. He has really straight, white teeth too. Not quite to the extent of new guy, but they are a stand out of his features. Yeah, straight, white teethed Emmett is alright. I've known him for a very long time though. I trusted him before he had his big white straight teeth. Oh, and Rose. Her teeth are perfect too…

Hmmm, maybe judging people on their teeth isn't such a good idea. It may prove to be a bit unfounded.

I wash my hands and leave the toilets, and head towards my car, almost being bowled over by someone on a big mountain bike. He stops and turns to me to call out an apology. I wave him off as I shake my head. It's new guy, his bright teeth shining in the dimming light outside. I knew I shouldn't trust him. He jumps off his bike and moves over to me while I sigh inwardly.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," Edward screws up his nose, kind of cutely. "I thought you left already."

"Yeah…. had to go to the toilet," I bluntly reply.

"Oh," He looks a little shocked, then his teeth show again through the darkness of his beard, and his long fingers fiddle with the straps of his backpack. "Emmett said that you're a regular here at the gym, you like it? I'm just on a trial membership for the week."

"Yeah, I do like it here. They have good classes and the equipment is kept in good nick. Gerry, the owner, is really nice too. I think you'll enjoy it."

"I think I will too," he smiles at me knowingly, his dark eyes intense. "It's been great to meet some new people too."

"Um, yeah… so you're new to Sydney?" I wasn't going to ask, I am tired, sweaty and want to go home, but his eyes hypnotised me or something. His eyes or his teeth, I'm not sure which. See… I knew he couldn't be trusted.

"Yep, just arrived this week." He looks like he's about to continue, but from his backpack comes the sound of his phone ringing. He reaches back to look for it, and I take the opportunity to escape his hypnotising powers. I wave as I jump into my car and Edward lifts his hand in farewell.

Phew, I am free from the evil tooth and eye powers. My life is too crazy to get caught up in the life of guys with good butts, beards, dark hypnotising eyes and straight, white teeth. Pity my brain doesn't co-operate. Throughout my drive home I can't stop thinking about him. Edward. With his good butt, beard, eyes and teeth.

My little sister and housemate, Alice, is pulling dinner out of the oven when I walk in. The house smells amazing.

"Yum Allie, that smells delicious!" I compliment as I drop my keys into the bowl on the hallstand. I enter the kitchen and give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Yuck Bella, you stink." Alice wrinkles her nose at me as she places the lasagna on the dining table, "Go have a quick shower, I need to make a salad yet."

I sniff my armpits, not thinking that I smell that bad. Shrugging, I pull of my top on the way to the bathroom. The hot water is really nice on my sore muscles and I stand for a minute just letting it rush over my body. I shampoo and condition my hair quickly and soap up my arm pits and the rest of my body. Running my hands over my backside reminds me of Edward's rear end, which reminds me of his smile, his eyes… I quickly remove my hands from my body and turn off the water before my imagination goes wild and my shower ends up being a lot longer than a few minutes.

When I return to the kitchen I'm in my pjs already, my hair damp down my back. Our Dad was Italian and all three of us girls inherited his dark, wavy locks. Our older, married sister, Angela wears hers shoulder length. Alice has cropped hers really, really short and is forever changing it's colour. This week it is orange. Like, neon orange. She works for some edgy, arty PR firm and they encourage creativity and general weirdness. She fits right in there. I can't be bothered doing much with my hair, and can't even remember the last time I went to the hair-dressers. Hence, it is really long and boring. I have to wear it back for work, and it gets in the way when I'm at the gym or going for a run, so it's usually in a pony tail. Alice keeps trying to encourage me to cut it or dye it. Maybe, one day. When I can be bothered.

We have been house sharing for a couple of years now. Alice does most of the cooking. She loves it. I take care of most of the cleaning. I'm crap at cooking. She's lazy with cleaning. Works for us. We halve the rent.

"How was the gym?" Alice asks me over a mouthful of food. "Any hot guys?"

"Emmett was there," I smile at her, I will not tell her about Edward. I will not.

"Ooh, then yes, definitely hotness at the gym," Alice nods. "You should get him to introduce you to some of his famous model and sportsperson former clients. Footballers have the most amazing bodies."

"I've thought about it, believe me. But I would never, cos I reckon most of them know they have the most amazing bodies and just want you to worship them. Although, I probably wouldn't mind worshipping some of those biceps…"

Alice nods, then shakes her head. "I'm sure there are some other hotties at the gym though. Isn't that why you spend so much time there?"

"No." I disagree. "That's not why I spend time there. I just enjoy it." Edward's face pops into my mind again. But I will not mention him. I will not. "There was a new guy there today." Crap.

Alice's eyes light up. "Oh really? What was he like?"

"He had a good butt… but really straight, white teeth. Don't trust him."

Alice starts laughing, spraying some lettuce out of her mouth. "Oh my God, are you talking about you and your tooth theory?!"

I look down and concentrate on my plate. I'm already mad at myself for mentioning Edward, I can't believe I walked into that one, bringing up teeth again. "You know how I feel about straight, white teeth. Plus, he has a beard."

"Oh ew, that's just gross." Alice agrees with me about the beard thing, at least. "How old is he?"

"I don't know, how can you tell, with that beard he could be 20 or he could be 50. Makes age determination very difficult." I shrug.

"Hmmm… puts him right in your age range though." Alice laughs.

"Shut up. I don't need a guy. I'm very happy with my life. We have a good thing going on here, Al, don't want to bring in any fellas and disrupt the harmony."

"You are getting pretty old though," Alice points out.

"Alice, 27 isn't old."

"You're older than me, so you always will be considered 'old'."

I throw a cherry tomato at her face, bopping her in the forehead. "Just because I'm not like Ange, married and popping out babies doesn't mean I'm losing out on anything. There's plenty of time for all that baby popping."

Angela and her husband were married at 21, and now, 9 years later have 4 kids. They're awesome and amazing, but I'm very happy to let them continue to satisfy our mother's urge to grandparent.

"You never know what could happen with this new guy," Alice waves her fork in the air, like she's some kind of gourmet fairy, granting wishes. "He could just be the one for you."

"He has a beard and straight, white teeth. He couldn't possibly be the one for me." I scoff. As if.


	2. Chapter 2

warm  
CHAPTER 2

I've got morning shift at the hospital, so it's an early morning. It's busy, but not anything out of the ordinary. I prefer the excitement of the emergency room, but today I'm just on the ward doing normal rounds, dealing with medications and oldies and taking temperatures. Tomorrow I'm scheduled for emergency, which will be fun. During my lunch break I ring Rose and she invites Alice and I over to her and Emmett's place for dinner and a catch up tomorrow night.

On the way home I stop off at the bottle shop to grab a wine to bring to dinner and when I get home I change into my gym gear. Just as I'm about to get into the car I hesitate. If I go to the gym will I see Edward? I don't really want to run into him. Especially as last night he starred very heavily in my dreams. If I see him at the gym I will probably have him in my dreams yet again tonight, and I really don't want to be waking up panting and sexually frustrated again, having to take matters into my own hands. Yep, I'm not going. I decide to go for a run instead.

There is an oval a few blocks from my place and I head in that direction. I put in my headphones and start my music. I cannot run without my soundtrack, otherwise it's just me and my thoughts, and that's a scary place. I'm onto the third song when I reach the grassy oval, I climb over the small fence and begin running some laps around the boundary. Beyonce's 'crazy in love' comes on and I cannot help but sing along as I run. I'm very glad there is no one else around for me to torture with my singing, because that is certainly what it would be for them: torture. I cannot hold a tune to save my life. But there are just some songs that demand to be joined in, 'crazy in love' being one of them.

A few more songs later, feeling the burn throughout my entire body I decide to head back towards my place. Just as I jump back over the fence I spot someone jogging towards the oval from my left. Someone tall, male and bearded. No… It couldn't be… Could it? Why yes, it could.

"Shit!" I hiss and veer right, picking up my pace slightly to be out on the road, my back towards Edward as I race off.

I hope he didn't see me.

"What the frigging hell," I gasp as I make it home in just one song.

I cannot believe it. I miss the gym so I can avoid him, and he ends up jogging at the same bloody oval?! What the heck is going on? If he's jogging around here it means he probably lives around here, which mean he'll do his grocery shopping around here, probably works around here…. I'm going to have to become a hermit to avoid this stupid man.

I shower quickly, attempting to avoid erogenous zones in my highly aggravated state. I scrub the shower while I'm in it, use my towel to dry myself off, then wipe down the shower screen with it. I do a nudie run to my bedroom, dropping my towel and sweaty running clothes in the dirty laundry basket. I chuck on my pyjamas early and after putting on a load of washing curl up on the couch with a book I'd borrowed from the library the other day.

I'm only a couple of chapters in when I begin to rethink my book choice. It's pretty raunchy. As I'm reading about heaving bosoms and swollen, engorged penises my bosom begins heaving itself imagining someone's swollen, engorged penis. Yes. That's just a general 'someone', not anyone in particular. White teeth flash into my mind. No!

I slam the book down on the coffee table with a little more force than necessary, and bend the cover badly. I am trying to straighten it out when Alice arrives home. I get up and help her chop veggies for tonight's meal. Alice is humming away, doing a little jiggly dance and I quirk an eyebrow at her questioningly.

"You're exceptionally chipper," I say suspiciously, picking up a piece of chopped carrot and taking a bite.

Alice slams down the knife she's using, spins around to face me, dramatically clutching the edge of the kitchen bench. "I've met someone," she says with flourish.

I almost choke on the carrot in my mouth. "What?" I ask, trying to contain the food in my mouth. "Who? Where? How?"

"Well, I haven't met met him, but he came into the office today. He's an artist. He has this whole tortured vibe thing going, he looks like he needs someone to gather him up and love him. His name is Fernando."

I begin to giggle. "Fernando? Are you serious?"

Alice frowns at me. "Yes, very serious. He came in for an appointment, I think he's going to be showing some of his artwork and is hiring us to do the advertising for him. You should have seen him, Bella. He had paint splatters on his clothes and these gorgeous nerdy glasses. Next time he comes in I'm going to ask him out for coffee."

"You do that Al," I smile as I return to chopping. I begin to hum ABBA underneath my breath, and at first Alice shots me a deathy, then a smile creeps over her face. She actually joins in with me when I reach the chorus and we both yell out at the top of our lungs: "There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando…"

That night, while lying in bed, trying to get some sleep early, I am assaulted by images of Edward. I cannot believe that in my trying to escape his face at the gym I saw him again. I'm pretty sure that he hadn't seen me, or even if he had seen me surely he would not have recognised me. Thank goodness.

In the morning I am not feeling very rested and I'm very annoyed with Edward. Why can't he grant me a moment's peace? I hardly know the man, and I hate beards; I hate straight, white teeth; yet I cannot get him out of my mind. I'm so frustrated. I know that it's not his fault that my brain is going haywire, but I don't want to blame myself. There's no fun in that. Cursing Edward and his teeth and bum I arrive at work for the day. Emergency Room, this will be good. It's so busy here I will not have a moment to think about strange men.

Unfortunately, I see him at every turn. In the beard of the man who I take up to get x-rayed. In the eyes of the person who needs sutures in their leg. In the white teeth of the teenager who is running a dangerously high temperature. Each time, my heart rate increases and I gasp, before realising that it's not him and berate myself, telling myself I need to get a grip and relax. And then it happens again. And again. By the time an ambulance arrives with a patient having a suspected heart attack and I see Edward's long, dark hair on the paramedic bringing in the stretcher I feel like screaming in frustration. But then, the paramedic looks up, beginning to call out the vital statistics of the patient as he and his partner are bringing the stretcher through the doors, and I look into the deep, dark eyes of him. It really is him. His words falter and his straight, white teeth suddenly appear through the darkness of his beard as he recognises me. I am standing still in the middle of the room, my mouth gaping, arms slack by my sides.

"What the hell, I really cannot get away from this dude!" I whisper, then shake my head to clear it, and stride to meet the stretcher. "Let's bring him through."

I lead the way through to a spare cubicle and try to busy myself with getting out equipment, the whole time I am hyper aware of Edward's presence, his tall body dominating the space. He is grinning at me, while I am trying to be serious and appear like I'm unaffected by him being so near. In my imagination I had recalled him being really tall and skinny. And he is really tall, but he is also not skinny. I know the other ambo, Tyler, and I always considered him to be stocky and with a muscular build. Edward is giving him a run for his money. I can see the broadness of his shoulders as he moves, and the strong length of the muscles in his forearms.

Luckily we have a heart specialist on site and he comes straight down to see the patient, along with one of the nurses who has a lot of experience with heart attacks, so I move out of the cubicle and allow them to continue with the patient. Tyler and Edward are packing up their gear and moving back out towards their ambulance. I go to move past quickly, but Edward puts his arm out and blocks my way.

"Bella! Fancy seeing you here!" I cannot take my eyes off of his teeth. Think of the teeth Bella. Do not look at his muscles. I looked at his muscles, his arm still outstretched, and his sleeve is slightly rolled up. I can see the sinew and tendons underneath his tanned skin. That is one hot forearm. Crap.

"I didn't realise you were a paramedic." I say weakly.

"Yeah, just started this week after a little bit of time off. Tyler is helping me get reacquainted." Edward gestures to Tyler who smiles and acknowledges me by saying my name with a nod.

"Um, that's great. I'd better get back to work," I gesture to the emergency room, which is uncharacteristically empty. "Got paperwork to do…" I explain.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Edward raises his eyebrows at me, his eyes glinting. "I'll see you around, here or at the gym, I suppose."

"Yep." I walk off without saying goodbye. Far out. I know I'm acting ridiculous. I'm being such a bitch. I watch from the corner of my eye as the boys exit the emergency room and the ambulance pulls away from the entrance. Only then do I breathe a sigh of relief. Shit. If I am going to avoid Edward from now on I'm going to have to find a new gym, resign from my job or only on the wards instead of my favourite place in the emergency room, and maybe even move house so I'm not in the same area as him. Is this dude stalking me or something? I run a hand down my face, exasperated. This is frigging ridiculous. I'm so glad that I'm going out for dinner to Emmett and Rose's tonight. I'm going to take a taxi and drink and forget all about stupid Edward and his stupid bum, teeth, beard, eyes and forearms.

I get another bottle of wine on my way home, the one I bought yesterday will definitely not be enough. Changing out of my work gear I put on my comfy ripped jeans and a plain black t-shirt and grey hoodie and my comfy vans. I pull out my pony tail and consider doing something special with my hair… then laugh at myself, as if. I chuck it back up, twisting it into a messy bun on top of my head. I do rub some eyeliner around my eyes and add some mascara, both of which I am never seen without, but that's the extent of my beauty regime. That and plucking my black, Italian-esque eyebrows into submission.

Alice can't stay for dinner because she has a work dinner, but offers to drive to Emmett and Rose's, which I gladly accept thinking of the two bottles of wine I purchased and how much I'm going to enjoy partaking of their grapey goodness. Balancing my two bottles of wine I make my way up to the front door and before I am able to knock Rose throws open the door, a huge grin on her face.

She gives me a hug in welcome, her long blonde hair sliding in my face before taking the wine from my hands. I follow her into the kitchen while she explains that she and Emmett decided to BBQ out the back. She pours glasses of wine and leads the way out to the back deck. The smell of grilling meat meets my nose, making my stomach grumble appreciatively. My appreciation dissipates quickly though, when I see who is standing next to Emmett at the BBQ, beer in hand.


	3. Chapter 3

warm  
CHAPTER 3

"Bella!" Emmett and Edward cry out in chorus, then laughingly clink beer bottles against each other in cheers.

I turn my gaze disbelievingly at Rose, and she just smiles brightly, "Bella I believe you've met Edward before," she waves her glass towards Edward's bright toothy grin.

"Yes," I say, still staring at Rose, trying to convey with my eyes just how displeased I am. She isn't looking at me, instead she moves towards Emmett and tucks herself under his arm as he prods at sausages and steak on the grill plate.

Edward heads towards me, and I sigh as I sit down at a chair on the deck and take a large swallow of wine.

"So, nurse Bella," he beams at me.

I arch an eyebrow at him, "Ambo Edward."

Edward takes a seat next to me and tilts his head to the side as he smiles. I will not start a conversation with him. I will not. I continue to hold my face seriously and look back into his deep, dark eyes. He doesn't speak either. I begin to feel uncomfortable. He doesn't look uncomfortable at all, he has a slight grin lifting one side of his mouth as he continues to hold my gaze. My eyes slide down his face, past his smirking bearded mouth and over his checked shirt, which has a few of it's buttons undone, revealing a smattering of dark hair over his strong chest, and I can pick the edge of some ink there. My heart begins to race. He has a tattoo? Shit. I'm done for. I move my eyes from the opening of his shirt, down past his long, jean-clad legs to his bare feet.

"You've made yourself at home," I nod towards his toes.

Edward laughs, "I hate having to wear shoes, too constricting."

"I love shoes." I counter, wanting to be disagreeable.

"I grew up in Darwin, too hot for shoes up there all the time," Edward smiles. "Got me into the habit."

"You're going to freeze during winter here in Sydney then, it gets pretty cold."

"I suppose I'll have to learn the benefits of footwear by then," Edward laughs. "For now though, I'm going to allow my toes the freedom to enjoy an Aussie summer."

Emmett brings over a plate of meat, joining the salads already on the table. He and Rose sit down opposite Edward and I and we begin to pile up our plates. Edward picks up the tongs and grasps the biggest piece of steak and my hand tightens on my steak knife, trying to resist the urge to stab him in the hand. I wanted that one. He looks up at me and places it on my plate, smiling. My grip slightly releases and I'm shocked.

"Oh, that's too big, you probably should have that one," I hear the words coming out of my mouth without the permission of my brain. "I wont be able to eat all that."

Emmett starts laughing, "Yeah, right, you have the biggest appetite of anyone I know, Isabella! You'll eat that in one mouthful!"

"Shut up, Emmett," I frown at him. But it's true. I do eat well. But it's ok, because I exercise well too. I love my food. I'm Italian, what can I say?

Edward just puts some more food on his plate, smiling still. What the heck is with him and smiling. He smiles all the time. It's annoying. Showing off his straight, white teeth. Bastard.

Oh my goodness, the man gives me the biggest piece of steak and I'm calling him a bastard in my mind? What is wrong with me? I am so annoyed at myself. I know that I'm being a bitch, but I just can't seem to help it. Everything about him frustrates me. Emotionally, physically, sexually. I finish off my wine and as I'm placing my empty glass on the table Edward is offering to get me a refill. So to top everything off he's also too frigging polite. It's doing my head in.

"I've got it, I can get it myself." I abruptly stand up from the table and stalk back inside.

In the kitchen I rub the heels of my hands into my eyes and make a frustrated grunting sound. Pull yourself together, Bella! I hear footsteps coming up behind me and I whirl, ready to tell Edward off for checking on me, but come face to face with Rose, looking concerned.

"What's going on?" Rose places her hand on my upper arm.

"What the hell is he doing here?" I bite out at her.

Rose pulls her arm away quickly, looking shocked at the bitterness in my voice. She frowns and I can see her blink a few times. Great. I've made her cry.

"Oh, Rosie, I'm sorry. I don't know what is wrong with me. Must be coming up to that time of the month or something because I am going CRAZY."

Rose wipes her hands at her eyes and nods quickly. "It's ok, Emmett met Edward at the gym the other day, and he's new to Sydney and we thought it would be nice for him to get to know us."

"I know, you guys are so nice. That's really good of you. I just didn't realise he would be here." I say apologetically. As I say that I didn't realise he would be here I see Rose bite her lip guiltily. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Well…" Rose wont look me in the eye.

"Rosalie!" I put my hands on my hips, and she caves.

"Emmett thinks that you and he would be perfect for each other! He loves being fit and healthy, you're both in the same field workwise, he's friendly…" Rose trails off when she finally looks into my angry eyes.

"I am not interested in Edward, ok? I don't trust him. And he has a beard."

Rose begins to laugh. "Ok, Ok, let's just all be friends. No match making, alright?"

"I suppose I can be friends with him." I grumble.

We bring the bottles of wine to the table with us and I sit back down next to Edward, glaring a little at Emmett as I do. Meddling boy.

Dinner manages to be ok. We all chat easily. I finish my steak. And another piece as well. I'm a big pig. I also finish both bottles of wine mostly on my own. Luckily Rose has some bottles as well. Unfortunately, the alcohol seems to have a lubricating affect on my vocal chords.

"What's with the beard, Edward?" I ask, leaning towards him and pointing my finger in his face.

He grabs my finger, just before I accidentally poke him in the eye. He doesn't quickly let go either, allowing his fingers to slide over mine as he protects himself.

"What do you mean?" He strokes a hand over his hairy chin.

"I mean, why are you covering up your face? Do you have like, no chin or something? What are you hiding? Or do you think it makes you look hipster?"

I can hear Emmett and Rose laughing at me, but I cannot seem to stop myself. Edward just smiles at me, like usual. There he goes, flashing those teeth again…

"Well, I have just spent the last 12 months back-packing around South America. I didn't always have access to bathrooms and so I thought I'd just go with the beard thing. Haven't cut my hair in ages either. Much easier than trying to shave."

"South America?" Rose asks, interested. "That would have been amazing. I've always wanted to go there. What was the best part?"

Edward leans back in his chair, finally allowing my finger free from his large hand. "Well, there are many. I loved hiking to Machu Pichu and some of the really remote places. But, I went mostly to meet my mother's relatives that I'd never met before, so connecting with family was amazing."

"Your mum is South American?" Emmett asks.

"Was… " for the first time Edward's smile isn't shining brightly from his face. I thought his smile was annoying, but now that it's disappeared I miss it. I want it back. "She passed away just over a year ago. Cancer. I was pretty upset afterwards, and decided that I wanted to connect with her and who she was a bit more, so that's when I put in my resignation up in Darwin and took off for South America."

So that's why he's so tanned, it's his heritage, not just from spending time outdoors. We are all quiet for a minute, not really knowing what to say. Then me and my big mouth blurt out: "So, that explains why you HAD a beard, not why you still DO."

Rose looks over at me, horrified. I feel pretty horrified myself, butting in on such a serious moment, but I am curious. Why would anyone intentionally allow their face to look like this?

Luckily, Edward doesn't look offended, and his smile returns. "You don't like my beard?"

"Beards are super gross." I state seriously. "I mean, it's not like it's nice, soft hair… it's like pubic hair. You have chin pubes."

Emmett snorts and Rose squeaks. I just shrug.

Edward's hand strokes his chin again, while the other one moves under his shirt and at the top of his jeans waistband. I choke slightly on my saliva as I watch his fingers stroke his snail trail and go a bit lower, dipping below his waistband. Freaking hell. My wide eyes watch in excitement, then Edward nods slightly at me.

"You're right," and his hand comes free from his pants. I swallow thickly, then look over at Emmett and Rose who are both laughing at Edward's antics and my reaction. I raise my eyebrows in appreciation and smile at Edward.

"Point made," I take another mouthful of my wine as Edward takes a drink of water. "So, the beard is going to go?"

"I'm not sure…" Edward is thoughtful. "I think it makes me look more my age."

I screw my nose up at him. "What do you mean - I have no idea how old you are with that beard covering up your face. You could be 20, you could be 50. Seriously. How old are you?"

Edward laughs, "I'm 31. Without the beard I look like I'm about 17 and no one takes me seriously!"

"Oh as if, I'm sure without the beard you look 31." I scoff.

Edward shakes his head. "It's true. I look like a baby."

"Yeah right, let's get this face scruff off and we can judge that. Come on, I'm sure there are razors here, aren't there Rose? Em?"

"Um," Rose looks unsure. "We do, but I think if Edward wants to keep his beard he should be able to, Bella."

"Don't be ridiculous, NO ONE wants to keep a beard, right, Ed? Come on," I stand and pull on Edward's arm.

He stands to his feet, making me stumble and he grasps ahold of my shoulders, steadying me. I gaze up into his bright smile, then shake my head to be rid of his hypnotising and pull him inside. Rose and Emmett follow behind us and I lead the way to the bathroom, going through their drawers. Rose pushes past me and gets out a razor, handing it to Edward.

"You do not have to do this, it's not up to Bella." Rose warns him.

Edward just laughs and says that he has been meaning to get rid of his beard, it just hasn't been a priority what with moving and starting a new job. Rosalie pulls me out of the bathroom and shuts the door, leaving the boys to their manscaping.

"Bella, help me clean up." she demands and I sheepishly follow her to pick up the plates and salads from the outside table.

I don't say anything as I clean, and neither does she. Occasionally she looks over at me and shakes her head, but I don't defend myself. I have no clue what is going on with me. I'm giving myself whiplash with my changes of moods. Either I really am getting my period a bit early, or I'm coming down with schizophrenia. Despite my intaking of much wine I am feeling not tipsy anymore. I feel a bit bad for pressuring Edward. As the kettle is boiling, the dishes are being washed in the dishwasher and the leftover salads have been put away I sit down in the lounge room. I hear Emmett begin to laugh from the bathroom, I stand and rush over to stand with Rose as the bathroom door slowly opens. Out comes Emmett, who is doing a piss-poor job of not laughing, followed by a teenager.

"Oh my God, you really do look like you're 17!" I screech with laughter as Edward, young and fresh-faced breaks into a blinding smile. "Hell! Your teeth look even whiter now! I thought that would be impossible!"

Edward's hand covers his mouth with embarrassment, but I can hear him laughing too, so I know I haven't completely humiliated him. "Have you cleaned up the sink, I bet that's a hairy mess in there!"

Edward nods, "That razor is cactus though, completely blunted that trying to fight through the forest of chin pubes."

I laugh even more, Rose finally joining in. Looking at Edward I can't possibly believe that he is 31. Seriously. 20 would be stretching it with his smooth, baby face.

We all sit down in the lounge, cups of tea and coffee in hand and laugh and chat some more. I'm annoyed with myself that we all get along so well. I really wanted to hate him. I kind of do. But I kind of don't. Rosalie attempts to smother a yawn and I take that as my cue to leave. I bring out my mobile to call a taxi, but Edward's hand reaches out to stop me.

"I can drop you home, I only had two beers all night, I'm fine to drive. I reckon you live near me, it won't be too far out of my way."

I arch an eyebrow at him. "How do you know where I live?" I demand.

"Um, I don't… I just saw you jogging the other day, at least, I think it was you…"

Shit.

He had seen me.

"Oh… yesterday?"

Edward nods, "At the oval near Valley View Road…"

I nod, "Yeah, that would have been me. I didn't see you…" I lie, hopefully convincingly. Crap. I'm a bad person.

We say our goodbyes and head out the door. I get into the passenger side of his black, non-descript car. "Hang on," I say before he can turn the key in the ignition. "Can I see your license?"

Edward tilts his head at me questioningly, but reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He hands over the business card size identification and I calculate the date of birth. Wow. He really is 31, almost 32 actually.

"Are you checking how old I am?" He asks, laughing.

"Yes." I state seriously. "I needed to make sure you weren't on your learner's."

He spends half the ride home laughing. And, frustratingly, so do I.


	4. Chapter 4

warm  
CHAPTER 4

I have curves. No amount of running or gymming has been able to reduce my bust or hip circumference. I'm sure all my exercise keeps it under control, but I naturally have boobs that are well over my handful size. I try to tell myself it's just because I have small hands, but every guy I have fooled around with has his hands full of tits. My hands barely can modestly cover them. I'm not trying to modestly cover them right now though.

After watching the taillights of Edward's car disappear down the street, I calmly brushed my teeth and removed my makeup, washing my face. Then tiptoed down the hall past Alice's room, not having recalled seeing her car, so I'm not sure if she's home or not, but I'm not taking any chances, and shut the door to my bedroom. I slowly removed my vans, ripped jeans, hoodie and top. My calm facade cracked when removing my bra, and I scrambled into bed, flinging my bra towards my dirty clothes basket and kicking off my undies. Sliding under the covers I allow my fingers to squeeze my boobs lightly, as I imagine Edward's fingers.

For two days I've thought of nothing else, and I do not need raunchy dreams or steamy novels to ramp myself up. I'm already right there. My right hand slides down in between my legs, my left hand still clutching at my peaked nipple. I see Edward's bright smile as I pretend his mouth is upon me, licking, sucking.

"Oh, Edward," I breathe as my fingers speed up, imagining it is his hands playing my body, and so quickly it takes my breath away, I begin to come apart.

Panting I lie, staring at the ceiling. "Shit," I whisper. I've never come so fast before, that was crazy. Man. I think I really like him.

Life is strange. When I was trying to avoid Edward I saw him everywhere. Now, when I would kind of like to run into him somewhere, he is nowhere to be found. I have not seen him at the gym. I have not seen him running. I have not seen him at the hospital, even when I was in emergency the other day, my stomach jumping whenever an ambulance arrived, but it was never Edward's dark eyes and white teeth that met me when I ran out to meet them.

This is driving me crazy. If any of the old wives tales were true I would have hairy palms and be blind by now, with how much I'm having to relieve myself. I'm so horny and excitable. I've always had what I refer to as a healthy sexual appetite, Rosalie likes to just say I'm a horny devil, but this is beyond a joke.

It has been over a week since I've seen that frustratingly sexy man. I wish that we had of swapped numbers, and I am not going to contact Emmett and ask, because I will never, ever hear the end of that if I do. While cutting some ribbon for wedding invitations with Rose the other night she tried to question me about my feelings towards Edward, but I wasn't very committal. I mean, what can I say? I feel so conflicted, I'm not really sure how I feel. All I can say for sure is it's the most sexually frustrated I have ever been. But I don't really tell Rose that, other than saying that he is pretty sexy, with either a beard or a baby face.

"He smiled at you the whole night," Rosalie says, knowingly.

"Pfft, that means nothing," I dismiss, "He seems to be exceptionally smiley. And those teeth… gosh…"

"I think he's interested," Rose ignores my tooth issues.

"Well, that's lovely. I still don't trust him. And I'm not interested. Now," I attempt to distract her. "Is this length of ribbon ok?"

Luckily there are so many things on Rosalie's mind at the moment that she forgot about questioning me about Edward any further. He did seem to be interested though. And I do like him, but I also am freaking the heck out.

I'm going to be on night shift this week, so on Saturday I get up late and I'm contemplating going to the gym or going for a run. I decide on neither, because I'm sick of expecting to see Edward and not. Alice is baking cookies and I can't wait to help her eat some of them once they're finished baking. I step into the bathroom and shower, trying especially hard not to touch myself improperly and failing. I already had done so before I got up this morning, you'd think that I could give my body some kind of reprieve, but no. I'm like some kind of feral teenage boy.

Stepping out the shower I dry my body, and the shower screen like I sometimes do when I think it's time to change my towel, and open the bathroom door, ready to do my nudie run to my bedroom. As I step out into the hall way I for some reason look up into the kitchen, and meet the dark eyes that I've been wanting to see all week…. staring at me, in my house.

"Shit!" I screech and leap backwards into the bathroom, slamming the door. My breasts are heaving as I breathe heavily, absolutely mortified. I pick up my damp, dirty towel and wrap it around my body, then sucking in a steadying breath I crack open the door and peek around the edge of the door frame. I can't see Edward anymore, so I race down to my bedroom and slam the door shut.

What is he doing in my house? Alice must have let him in. She knows I normally do a nudie run from the bathroom to my bedroom, I cannot believe she didn't give me a warning that he was here. Oh my goodness, I was in the bathroom, touching myself while I thought about the guy that was just steps away. I'm a peverted monster.

I pull on some black shorts and a thin white three quarter length sleeved top and hesitantly open my door and walk down the hall to the kitchen. Edward is sitting at our dining table, coffee in his hands, eating Alice's cookies. He throws me a cheeky smirk and Alice bites her lip, looking a little shamed.

"Looking good, Isabella," Edward grins at me.

"Piss off," I grumble, moving further into the kitchen and pulling out a mug for myself. As I pass Alice I lean in closer to her, my eyes narrowed, "I owe you one, missy." She scurries out, excusing herself, for once at a loss for words.

I pull out a chair opposite Edward and grab a cookie for myself. I take a moment to take in his appearance. His face is looking a lot less babyish today, with dark stubble gracing his defined jaw. Man, that stubble is freaking hot. I enjoyed his appearance while he was bearded, thought he looked ultra cute clean shaven, but with a week's growth… smouldering hot. He's also had a haircut since I saw him last, his hair is short on the sides while still being a bit longer on the top. It looks very smart. Ok, he's freaking gorgeous.

"You're looking positively in your twenties today, Ed." I smile with a wave of my cookie, and he acknowledges me with a stroke of his jaw and a nod. "I see you've met my sister, Alice."

"I did have that pleasure, she was most hospitable, letting me in, giving me a cookie," and he adds with a wicked glint of his eye, "front row seats to a show…"

"Oh my God," I cover my face with my hands. "Please, let us just pretend that never happened."

"Oh, I do not want to do that, was quite a sight," Edward smiles at me broadly.

"So, what brings you over to my place this fine day?" I cut to the chase, hoping to steer the conversation away from my humiliation.

"I haven't seen you all week, I missed your face at the gym, and whenever I brought a patient to the hospital there were always other nurses there to greet me, not your frowny face, all serious." I give Edward a good example of my frowny face right now, a little bit offended that he would say that to my face. Not that it's not true, I know that I've been a bit weird and serious with him, kind of angry and nasty. But it makes me feel at least a little bit nice that he seems to have been on the look out for me, and having a similar time of not finding me where he's looking. I wonder if he's been experiencing the same level of sexual frustration?

"And, I don't have your number, so this morning when I didn't have to work I thought, what the heck, I'm going to go see Bella. And here I am, I got to 'see' Bella."

"Shut up!" I know that I am never going to live this down. That is definitely the last ever nudie run I do. I lean over to his mobile phone which is sitting on the table between us. I program my number in to his phone. "Just so you don't pop over unannounced again."

"But where's the fun in that?" He grins at me.

I ring my number from his phone so I will have his number on mine too. "So… Edward Cullen…" I remember his last name from my prying nosiness of looking at his license. "That's not a very South American name…"

"My mum was South American, my dad is all Aussie." Seb grins at me. "And Edward is the name of my mother's father, so it is South American. What's your full name, Bella?"

I screw up my nose. "Isabella Marie Swan."

"That's not a very Australian name," Edward points out.

"I think it's obvious that I'm not 100% Australian… My Dad was Italian."

"Was?" Edward asks hesitantly.

"Well, he didn't stop being Italian, but he did stop being alive."

Edward cringes at my bluntness. I cringe too, remembering that he too has lost a parent. I tend to use my dark sense of humour in ways that can offend, and it has been so long since the passing of Dad, that I can at times refer to it in terms that can show that I don't care. That's not true, but sometimes humour is better than feeling.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I blurt, wanting to change the subject.

"Sure," Edward pulls on a pair of mirrored aviator sunglasses as we step outside and I swear, it sent a bit of a thrill to my girl bits. I always thought that aviators were for tossers, but oh my goodness. I do not mind them on Edward. Not. One. Little. Bit.

We wander for a few blocks, speaking about work and what we have both been up to for the last week. Practically the whole time he is smiling. I do not understand how someone can smile quite so much. When we make it to a coffee shop we automatically sit down at an outside table and order a coffee each.

"Is this a date?" I ask bluntly.

"Um… do you want it to be?" Edward attempts to avert my question.

"Do you?" I return.

Edward grins at me. "Well, I think this is just two friends having a coffee…" I feel my heart sinks a little bit. "But, I would like to take you out on a proper date."

I hold my face steady, trying not to appear like I'm too excited by that prospect.

"Bella, you are not making this very easy for me. You're very difficult to read." Edward runs a hand through his newly cut hair. "I have no idea what you're thinking or feeling."

"Good." I say seriously. "I have to keep some air of mystery about me. Got to keep you on your toes."

"So… would you like to go out for dinner with me?"

"Maybe."

Edward shakes his head, a little bit frustrated.

"Look, let me explain myself just a little bit," I begin, then I'm interrupted by the waitress bringing out our drinks. I wait until she's gone, and take a gulp of my caffeine before continuing. "I really hate guys with beards. I know, you probably guessed that because I made you get rid of yours."

"Yes, the chin pubes escapade," Edward chuckles.

I nod, "Yes, and that was great, you shaved them off, chanced looking like a little kid, all because I told you that beards were super gross. That was great. So, that was my first hurdle… although I'm still a little bit perturbed that you even had that thing in the first place. But, that aside… this is really weird and you're probably going to run a million miles when you hear this, because it shows how stuffed up I really am." I take a deep breath. "I have issues with people that have straight, white teeth."

There is silence at the table. I look down into the brown of my drink for a few moments, expecting some kind of reaction. And nothing comes. For a moment I think that maybe Edward really has run off, having realised my general weirdness, leaving me sitting here alone, but I realise I can see his flip-flopped feet through the glass top of the table. I slowly look up into his face, and his chin is screwed up, his lips held tightly together, and tears are beginning to run down his cheeks. He's laughing at me!

My mouth drops open, I'm a little mad. This is a real issue for me and he's laughing at me! I thought that I was being brave being open and honest about this, and he is just laughing. Prick. My eyes narrow at him and I'm about ready to throw my coffee in his face.

He holds a large hand up to halt any kind of response from me while he composes himself. No sound has come out the whole time, and he sucks in a lung full of oxygen then slowly looks up into my eyes. He said before that it's hard to read how I'm feeling, but I do not think that there is any question left in his mind about how angry I am right now.

"I'm serious." I hiss.

"Oh, I know you are. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just trying to understand. You don't want to date me because of my straight, white teeth?"

"Yes. I don't trust people with teeth like yours."

"Why not?!" Edward has stopped laughing and is at least taking me seriously. He actually looks a little bit dejected.

"I don't know… ok… my teeth are really shitty. They're crooked and horrible. Whenever I see perfect smiles I suppose I'm probably just jealous. Teeth like mine show that we were poor. We couldn't afford to get them fixed. Teeth like yours show that you're rich. I hate that. I hate that money is shown through so many facets and it's unfair. It makes me feel bad about myself. People judge you because of it and I hate that. And teeth like yours belong to movie stars, and used car salesmen. Con men. Trying to charm people. People like that are untrustworthy."

"So, you wont date me because its a reminder of your childhood and people judge you and it's unfair?"

"Well, I wouldn't have put it that way…"

"That's not fair. You are judging me."

I stop in my train of thought. Shit. He's right. Oh man, that is not fair.

"You don't know anything about me and my past, yet you're judging me on my teeth." Edward's eyebrows are raised in question.

"But…" I begin, but don't really have anywhere to go. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Edward nods, then a huge smile comes over his face. "So, this means that you'll go out to dinner with me, then."

"Hang on," I stop him before he gets too carried away. "I said that you were right that I was judging you based on how you look… so, I think I need to give you the opportunity to tell me about your teeth."

"What?" Edward looks confused.

"Why do you have such straight, white teeth?"

"I'm insanely rich." Edward says seriously.

I arch an eyebrow at him, thinking that he's joking, but not exactly sure. Even if he isn't, why is that so bad? Being insanely rich might be kind of nice.

"Well, that might be a bit of a lie." Edward smiles, and I do feel a little disappointed. Just a tad. "My mum worked as a dental nurse. We had free dental care when I was growing up. But, the real reason behind my straight, white teeth is when I was about 14 I went over the handlebars of my bike, broke my front teeth. These babies are capped."

I lean forward over the table and he leans towards me, grinning widely. I squint into his face, trying to see any kind of line. "I can't tell, are you sure?"

"Um, yes!" Edward laughs at me.

"Hmm… Ok… I suppose that you would know." I allow.

"So, do I pass your trustworthy test?"

I shrug and finish my coffee. Edward narrows his eyes at me, but he has a smirk on his face still. He knows I'm caving.

"Are there more issues that we need to work through?"

"Oh, believe me, there are plenty of them." I smile and stand up. Edward joins me, reaching out his hand. We meander back to my place, my hand clasped firmly in his the whole way.


	5. Chapter 5

warm  
CHAPTER 5

Never before have I really cared all that much about what other people think of me. Sure, I care about being healthy and I workout, but not because I want to impress with my body. And my hair and makeup choices are not really to look my best. I figure if someone is going to like me it had better be more about me, not what I look like.

That is why I'm feeling a bit pissed off with myself that I have found myself at Alice's favourite hairdresser, about to be cut and dyed. I care about what Edward thinks and that annoys me as much as it makes me get off my butt and do something about it. I have been so awful to him, bossing him around, being rude and judgemental... And yet he still continues to call me, text me... I don't understand. I don't understand why I am acting the way I am; I don't understand why he's still hanging around... Why he has asked me on a date. I need to make a conscious decision to be kinder. Try to be kinder anyway.

"I'm going to keep your length, cos this is amazing hair, I just want to make it a bit healthier by taking off the split ends." The hairdresser tells me. She has a tuft of hair just at the front of her head and it's purple. The rest of her head is shaved. I do not know if I trust her not to shave my hair off too. "What do you feel about colour? I could really see you rocking some bright red and blonde highlights…"

Oh my goodness, no wonder Alice always comes home with crazy hair after being here. "No colour, thanks… Just the trim." I say, firmly.

I walk out two hours later, after being conned into some 'deep conditioning treatment and a semi-permanent chocolate rinse to really bring out the shine'. $145 later it had better bring out some brilliant shine. Edward had better appreciate the effort I've gone to. Admittedly, I feel pretty freaking awesome. I reckon I look like one of those stupid ladies from a shampoo ad, all flouncy, bouncy and strutty.

Our date evening has arrived and it's really hot. Like, seriously hot. The temperature spiked at 41*C today, and I'm sweating like a freaking pig. I had been planning on wearing these skin tight black pants and a nice top I bought this week, but one look at those pants and there is no way you will get me near those heat trappers tonight. I pull out a flowy red dress that hits me mid-thigh. With my boobs there is no way I'm going bra-less, so it has straps, no bare shoulders for me. I take a lot more care with my make-up, going for the smoky eye look. The back of my neck is sweaty with my hair down, even in my air-conditioned home, but I want to show off my hair, so I refuse to pull it back into my usual pony-tail. I do make sure that I have a hair-tie in my clutch purse though. I slide on my tan strappy sandals, and wrap a matching tan belt around my waist- necessary to break up the flowy lines of the dress, otherwise I look like I'm wearing a potato sack because my hips and boobs pull the dress out so much.

Feeling satisfied there is nothing more I can do for my appearance I head out to the kitchen to wait, where Alice, pink hair this week, is drowning her sorrows. Fernando, the supposed love of her life, introduced her to his partner, Peter, yesterday.

"There is nobody for me," she sighs as I join her at the table. "I'm going to die childless and alone."

"Over-dramatic much?" I laugh at her.

"I'm not being over-dramatic! Everyone has someone but me! Even you have Edward!" Her forehead thumps down on the table.

"I do not 'have' Edward. We are going out to dinner. Do not marry me off yet." I warn her.

"You two are perfect for each other, made to be together forever. You're going to make beautiful dark haired, white toothed babies."

I laugh at her, and hearing a car pull up outside I kiss the top of her pink head and tell her not to wait up. I flounce out the door, and hit a wall of heat. Seriously, it's like a literal wall of fire outside. I jump into the passenger seat of Edward's car, and lean forward into the air conditioning ducts that thankfully are blasting on full.

"Good evening, gorgeous." Edward smiles at me.

I smile, apologetically. "Sorry, just need to cool down after my two second walk outside."

I lean over, kissing him on his smooth cheek, inhaling his scent. Oh yum, I need to find out what eau de toilette he uses cos that is just deliciously divine. My hand strokes down his smooth cheek. "Boy, I'm going to look like a cougar tonight."

Edward grins as he reverses out my driveway, one arm on the back of my chair. He is in a light blue long sleeved shirt, with the sleeves rolled up over his muscular forearms, and dark blue jeans. He is even wearing enclosed shoes.

"Oh wow, you're going to be boiling in your sexy get up," I raise my eyebrows at him.

"I know," he groans and slightly lifts his arm, "look at my sweaty pits already!"

"And your poor toes are restricted by leather!" I gasp, mockingly.

"The restaurant I've booked is swanky, they wouldn't let me go barefoot," Edward looks downcast.

"What torture!" I grin.

"Anything for you, my lady!"

The restaurant really is swanky. It's right on the waterfront, and the view is gorgeous as the sun is beginning to head towards the horizon. The waiter pulls out my chair and puts a napkin on my lap for me. I feel a little weird. He explains what the specials are in very flowery language and leaves us with our menus. I feel a little overwhelmed, and look up at Edward, he looks a little overwhelmed too.

"I've never been somewhere so fancy before," I whisper.

"Me either." Edward's smile is not gracing his face like usual. I hate it when he's not smiling.

"I feel a bit out of place," I grimace. "I mean, can't rich people put a napkin on their lap themselves?!"

Edward's smile returns slightly. "Lucky those rich people have waiters to help them with that, such a public service."

"That's true, that is good." We share a smile, and things feel a little more normal.

I order the double roasted pork belly and Edward orders duck. We chat quietly while we wait for our meals, and when they're finally brought out I'm a little aghast. They look beautiful, all precisely put together and layered and artistic, but my goodness, they're TINY.

"I think they accidentally gave me the entree size," Edward frowns at his plate.

"Nah… I think this is how rich people keep skinny," I curl my lip.

Seriously, in two bites we are both finished our meals. My stomach grumbles, I shamedly clutch my stomach, hoping to contain the noise, but Edward meets my horrified eyes and begins to laugh.

"Let's get out of here."

Half an hour later we're sitting on the beach, barefooted, fish and chips between us, sharing a 2 litre bottle of coke.

"I thought my eyes were deceiving me when he brought out those plates! I'm so sorry!" Edward is laughing.

"Thanks for trying to show me how the other half live, but I'm too hungry to be a part of that crowd!" I fill my mouth with the oily, salty fattiness of the chips. "This is much more my scene."

"Me too, I just wanted to impress you, I suppose."

"I'm impressed with this," I grin and swallow some coke, and Edward takes the bottle from my hands and takes a drink too. That's practically kissing, this sharing of a bottle… The swapping of spit… I grasp the bottle back in my hands and allow my lips to linger on the edge a second longer than necessary.

The sun is slowly slipping towards the water, but it's still insanely hot. Edward has rolled up the bottoms of his jeans and his sleeves are up as high as they will go. He has undone many of his buttons, exposing his chest and I spy some more of his tattoo. I think it's just some script, and I lean forward and pull his shirt away a little to get a closer look. Edward grins at me and looks down at my hand, which is touching his chest.

"That means 'family'?" I ask, running my finger over the flowing letters. Edward nods. "Right over your heart."

I place my palm flat over his tattoo, I can feel his strong, steady heartbeat thump beneath my hand. He leans forward, pushing his chest harder against my hand, and bringing his mouth closer to mine. His dark eyes burn with intensity, slowly coming closer to my face, giving me the option to pull away if I'd like. I don't pull away, but bring my lips closer, meeting his. As our lips touch I feel a zing of electricity shoot between us and gasping, I pull back. My eyes dart from his lips to his eyes, my fingers up to my lips, still buzzing from the touch of his mouth.

"Wow," I breathe, "what was that?"

Edward shakes his head, "I don't know, but that was…"

"Weird."

"I was going to say amazing," Edward shrugs.

I sit back against the hot sand as the final sliver of sun disappears below the water. It feels a little awkward. I would really like to try kissing him again, experiment a little and see if we have zingy-ness again, but now that I've sat back I'd have to make the first move and I feel a bit weird doing that. I run my hands down my knees, to my feet, then back up. Suddenly I'm hit with inspiration. There are not many people at this section of beach, they're mostly up a bit further near the jetty and lit up shopping area. I undo my belt, then jump to my feet, pulling my dress over my head, then start running towards the water. I turn back, to see Edward's mouth gaped open at the sight of me running in my underwear, then he jumps up, pulling his shirt off his arms in one quick move, then hands scrambling at his jeans. I laugh and turn back to the water, gasping as I hit the coolness. It is refreshing after being so hot for so long, but very chilly. I stop as the water hits my thighs, deciding this is probably far enough, but then I hear a whooping right behind me, and Edward's hard body slams into my back. I cannot support his weight and I pitch forward, face planting into the surf. Spluttering I stand, pulling strands of wet hair out of my face.

"Shit, sorry!" Edward's mouth is wide open, as he stands there in his jocks, completely dry, water only up to his knees. "You stopped right in front of me, I was running, I couldn't stop in time!"

I grit my teeth and launch myself at him, and he tumbles backwards, into the water, unfortunately he grasps a hold of me, and he pulls me down with him. We hit the water, and his strong arms pull me close as our heads resurface. He laughs and strokes my hair over my shoulder, his long fingers caressing down my arm. Small waves swell around us in the shallow water and it slowly pushes me closer against him. My arms are leaning on his chest, my boobs rubbing against his toned stomach. I can feel the affect I'm having on him as the waves push my stomach against his groin. I pull myself against him a little harder and Edward grasps my forearms and pulls me up higher against him, and without hesitation this time pushes his lips against mine. The buzz is still there, but I kiss through it, feeling it zing right through me, practically straight to my hoo-ha, which is rubbing against his erection with the pulsing of the waves and the friction of my own hips movements.

"I have been wanting to kiss you for so long," Edward's arms wrap around my back and pull me close, and I snuggle against him, skin sliding against skin. "You are so beautiful."

And right in that moment I feel beautiful too.


	6. Chapter 6

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CHAPTER 6

My hair is a matted mess, but thanks to my trusty hair-tie, it's been pulled up on top of my head, forgotten. Our skin has a crusting of salt all over, and I have actually decided, what the hell, and am bra-less. And undie-less. As is Edward… He's just underwear-less… Not bra-less. He's always bra-less… I think. After getting out of the surf, putting nice dry clothes over the top of our wet underwear seemed a bit silly. So, my back turned to Edward I pulled off my bra, pulled my dress over myself, then stepped out of my undies.

"Are you seriously turning so I can't see you?" Edward laughs. "I've seen you naked before."

"Accidentally!" I say, turning around, copping an eyeful of his cute ass as he throws off his wet jocks and pulls on his jeans. Nice.

Our damp, sandy underwear is currently on his car's back-seat, and we are strolling down the boulevard, gelato in hand. I feel strange knowing that with a slight breeze I shall be exposed to the whole world, but there is a certain sense of freedom that comes with that also. Not to mention, it feels a bit sexy. Knowing that Edward also has nothing on underneath his jeans has the same affect.

"So, why did you choose to come here to Sydney?" I question Edward through a mouthful of ice cream. "Why not go back to Darwin? Is the rest of your family there? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Any other family anywhere else? What do they do for jobs?"

"Woah, settle down with the twenty questions, Sherlock." Edward smiles at me, wrapping his long arm over my shoulder, pulling me closer next to him. I've not really done the whole walking with someone with their arm around me before. It is kind of tricky. Our steps need to be a bit more co-ordinated for comfortable side by side walking such as this. I persevere.

"Just want to know more about you," I smile sweetly up into his face, then take a quick lick at his cone.

He pulls his icecream away from me, then begins his answers. "I have a younger brother, Jasper. He's 28 and is an accountant in Darwin."

"Is he cute?" I ask, unthinkingly.

Edward's footsteps falter slightly, and he looks down at me in wonder. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, is he cute like you?" I roll my eyes.

"We do look similar, I suppose. He's the boring one though, I mean, come on, an accountant? I'm clearly the better catch."

I laugh at his insecurity. "Come on, I'm the one with issues, don't you freak out. I like you, OK?"

"Yeah?" He stops and looks down into my face.

"Erm, yeah, I don't just make out in the water with just anybody. I have to kinda like them first…" I make a silly face.

"I kinda like you too, Bella." Edward moves his ice cream flavoured mouth to mine and we share another electrifying kiss. My nipples stand out proud, unhindered by their normal bra confines, and they brush against Edward's chest as we make out on the footpath. Edward groans into my mouth, and slightly pulls away and arranges himself in his jeans. "No jocks is a bit uncomfortable," he explains, a little embarrassed.

My gelato is dripping down onto my hand and I lick at the stickiness, causing Edward to groan some more. I giggle evilly and make it look a little more sensual than required.

"Evil woman," he tickles my side. I laugh and poke his side back. He jerks away and I laugh even more, trying to tickle him. He captures my hand in his and pulls it down beside him and continues to walk, finishing off his gelato.

The stars are out, but so, unfortunately, are the mosquitoes, and with all my bared skin I quickly become a target. We rush back towards Edward's car and I spend the trip back to my place grumbling and itching. When Edward pulls into my driveway I realise that I've just spent the last amount of our date being negative and crazy, so give him a bit of a good pash to make up for my moodiness. I squeeze his upper thigh and jump out of the car, thanking him for a wonderful evening.

I can see his bright teeth smiling when I look back from my front door, and wave as he drives out. As I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth I realise that I have major panda-eyes. I suppose my spontaneous swimming doesn't really go with smoky eye makeup. Oops. Didn't seem to bother Edward any though. Brushing my teeth I can't keep the goofy grin off my face. When I get into my bedroom I realise that I've left my underwear in Edward's car. Oh dear.

I shoot him off a text as I get into bed, saying sorry that I've left my underwear in his car, and not to do anything dirty with it. A couple of minutes later he replies, 'too late'.

I giggle, then get a little hot imagining what he may have done. 'Oh really?' I write back, my toes curling a little in anticipation at his response.

My phone beeps and I read: 'nah, not really, but now you've given me the idea… and I can't get it out of my mind…'

'Well, don't touch yourself with my sandy undies, that'll chafe you something shocking.' I write, and before I can stop myself and edit, I press send.

'Aah, but that's the beauty of such a hot night: your undies are dry and the sand has just brushed straight off…'

Oh gosh… this is making me really tingle. I wonder if he really is touching himself with my underwear with him, or if he's just joking with me and teasing. I don't know what I would prefer, but the idea of it, along with the knowledge of how good his kiss feels is making me hot. My hand slips between my legs and I take a few tentative strokes while thinking of a good response.

'That's not fair, I have nothing of yours here that I can touch, or use. My hand just isn't the same…'

Crap. That was probably really blunt and inappropriate. I throw my phone under my pillow because I'm scared of what he might reply. But then I pull it straight back out because I'm curious to know what he thinks. My heart jumps as my phone begins to ring. It's him.

"Hello?" I ask, hesitantly.

"You are so freaking hot," Edward's voice is gravelly and rough. I can hear slight movement in the background. "Are you in bed?"

"Yes," I breathe. "Are you?"

"Yes, put me on speakerphone," he demands. "I want both your hands free."

I am quick to respond, pushing speakerphone and placing the phone on the pillow next to my head. Oh my goodness, this is really happening.

"Tell me what you are doing," Edward takes the lead.

"I…" My heart is thumping so hard, my voice is caught in my throat. I have never done something like this before, I don't know what to say. "I… I'm touching my breasts, my nipples are really hard."

"I bet they are," Edward breathes a little heavier. "I could feel them through your dress tonight when you kissed me on the boulevard. Your breasts are gorgeous."

"I'm keeping my left hand on my boob, but my right hand is sliding down between my legs. Are you touching yourself?" I ask, growing a little bolder with his openness.

"God, yes. My right hand is gripping my cock, sliding up and down, imagining it is your hand holding me, caressing me." Edward groans. "It would be so good if you were here."

I moan as my fingers touch the heat of me, "I wish it were you that was touching me right now, I've imagined it so many times. You make me so hot."

"My left hand is holding your underpants, feeling their silkiness, knowing they've touched you where I want to touch you so badly," Edward sighs, and I hear his movements quite clearly. This is turning me on so much.

"I'm so turned on right now, imagining you touching me, hearing you touch yourself… I'm so close."

"I'm right there with you, baby… I would love to taste you, feel with my tongue as you come," Edward's voice is strained, and with the image of his dark eyes looking up at me from between my legs I cannot stop the rush as I come apart.

"I'm coming," I gasp out, and almost immediately hear Edward moan as he reaches his release straight after.

I lie, panting, spent, for a moment not knowing what to say. This was so intimate, yet so strangely distanced. How do I respond?

"Wow," I finally say, my voice shaky. "That was…"

I hear Edward chuckle and the rustle of sheets. "Weird?" He is copying my answer after our first kiss.

"I was going to say amazing," I smile.

"Amazing is right. You are amazing Isabella Swan." Edward laughs as I stifle a yawn. "Goodnight Bella, sleep well."

"Goodnight Edward Cullen." I say, sleepily.

It's not until much, much later that I realise Edward never answered all my questions.


	7. Chapter 7

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CHAPTER 7

Coordinating shifts is bloody hard. I'm on nights, Edward is on days. I'm doing an evening, Edward is on a morning. Being able to catch up with each other is really difficult. I'm sleeping while he's working, or he's got a break while i'm having to work… it's very hard. It's been over a week since I have seen his gorgeous face and sexy body. I am getting RSI from too much self pleasure. And I get a bit embarrassed ringing him to help me out.

It's Wednesday evening and I'm on afternoon shift, on a ward, gee, my favourite! I still have to be here til 9:30. It's almost 6, which is great- tea time. I get to have a break. I'm only half looking forward to the sandwich I have waiting for me. But I am really looking forward to sitting down for a moment.

I slouch towards the tea room and pull out a chair, closing my eyes, psyching myself up to eat. A throat clearing in the doorway snaps my eyes open, and a smile slides over my face as I am welcomed with the sight of Edward leaning against the doorway, a plastic bag hanging from his finger.

"I've brought you dinner," his deep, velvet voice smiles out at me. "I didn't know when I would be able to see you again. Couldn't wait any longer."

Standing, I move towards him, enjoying the scent that is emanating from his offering, but enjoying more the sight of his smile and his presence here with me. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest. He's still in his uniform, which is bloody ugly, yet he manages to make it look sexy and he is looking mighty fine.

"It is so good to see you. Did you just knock off?" My voice is muffled as my face is still pressed against him.

"Yeah, got a lift with the guys bringing in someone to emergency. I'd ordered dinner early. Indian, hope that is ok."

"Anything other than my sandwich is perfect," I sigh, regretfully pulling away from his strong, warm arms. "I only have half an hour, let's eat."

We sit opposite each other, smiling, our feet tangled together under the table as we dig into the chicken korma, saffron rice and naan bread Edward has brought. With both of us having healthy appetites we make quick work of the meal, and before long we're leaning back in our chairs, stomachs full and satisfied.

"Thank you so much, that was just what I needed." I thank Edward, pushing my plate away.

"You know what I need?" Edward leans forward, waggling his eyebrows at me and I feel a funny tingle in my stomach. "You."

My breathing increases, then I grasp his hand and pull him upright, checking that no one is watching us. We race into the hallway, and looking backwards and forwards making sure no one sees us running down the hallway and I pull him into one of the free treatment rooms, slamming the door behind us. He shoves me against the shut door, his mouth against mine, his body crushing against me, hands on the door, either side of my head.

I lace my fingers through his hair, pulling on his dark locks, trying to get him closer; closer than possible. His mouth tastes like our shared dinner and something that is just completely Edward, his lips hard and soft at the same time. Such an intoxicating combination. I do not know exactly what it is about this man, but I am completely consumed by him.

"I've missed you and your hot mouth so much," Edward pants into my mouth and grunts as I lift a leg to wrap around his waist and buck my hips towards his.

Edward's hands move from the door to grab my backside, lifting me right up off the ground, and I wrap both legs around him tightly, grinding against his erection. My head throws back, banging on the door as I feel him press against me where I'm throbbing so hard for him. Edward pulls me away from the door so I don't hit it again, and turns me and steps towards the bed in the centre of the room. I move my mouth away from his and lower it to his neck, so he can see where he's walking, not because I want to suck on his neck. Ok, that may have been a slight lie. I may have wanted to suck his neck, but that cannot be helped. Edward's neck is so lickable.

Edward lowers me downwards and gently lays me down on the bed. I bite my lower lip as I stare up at him, looking at me hungrily. My hands slide up to my breasts and my thighs press together in an attempt to ease the throb between my legs.

"No touching," Edward's eyes are on my boobs as he grunts at me, demanding. "Those are mine tonight."

His left hand grasps my wrists and lifts my arms up above my head. He doesn't hold me tightly, his fingers are caressing my wrists, but it is still thrilling feeling like he's taking charge. Edward lowers his face to my chest and puts his straight, white teeth to good use and nips lightly at my nipples, which are standing to attention under his mouth. His right hand then slides down my side and I open my legs enough to grant him access to my heat.

Through my trousers he touches me, rubbing against me, causing me to gasp and groan. I feel a little guilty, that I'm not helping him and his arousal out, so I lift my leg, bending my knee carefully towards his groin, lightly nudging against him. Edward's hips begin to rock and his groans join mine. I really hope no one comes in, needing this room, because being caught in such a position would be extremely embarrassing, not to mention unprofessional. But I push that thought out of my mind as I feel the tension building inside me.

"I want to feel you against me as I come," I gasp out and without a moment's hesitation Edward jumps up on the bed. I spread my legs apart to allow him to lean his hips against mine. Our panting become as frenzied as our movements and for a few spectacular minutes I revel in his closeness, his strength, scent and sexuality.

"Are you close?" Edward pants against my neck, all I can do in response is whimper as my body clenches, tightens then unravels. "Guess so," Edward grunts as his own body jerks then stills, his face sliding against my neck, peppering me with kisses.

I can hardly move, lying against the treatment room bed, attempting to catch my breath.

"How the heck am I supposed to go back to work now?" I wonder out aloud.

Edward pulls himself up into a standing position, then looks down at himself sheepishly. "I'm really, really glad that I'm finished for the day."

I sit up, straightening my clothes and attempting to tame my hair back into it's pony tail. I grab some paper towel and hand it to Edward, "Better go clean yourself up!"

"And you go back to work, I reckon your time is up, someone will come looking for you any second!" Edward kisses me goodbye, "I'll clean up from our dinner, and I'll ring you later tonight."

I head back out to the ward, wondering how in the future I will ever possibly be able to go past this treatment room with a straight face. Edward waves to me about 15 minutes later on his way out. The patient I'm with, an woman in her 40's, whistles in appreciation as he leaves.

"Ooh, he's a bit of a looker," she raises her eyebrows. "Is he your fellow?"

I smile, feeling a little shy for some strange reason. "Yeah, I guess he is."

We both watch appreciatively as his dark head nods to a passing patient, who's giddiness is obvious after his acknowledgement. Who is this handsome man, who despite my chilly nastiness has overwhelmed me with his warmth and charm? I don't understand why he would persist with me, what he has seen in me.

As I remove the blood pressure cuff from her arm my patient catches my eye. "You are a very lucky girl."

Yep. I really am.


	8. Chapter 8

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CHAPTER 8

"Are you freaking serious?!" Edward is slightly freaking out at the moment. We are planning a mountain biking day trip and Edward had suggested asking Emmett and Rose if they'd like to join us. I said that we should probably just check that it would fit with Emmett's filming schedule first. Edward looked at me strangely and asked me what the heck I was talking about.

"Emmett is a personal trainer…" I begin to explain.

"Yeah, he told me that, but filming? Is he doing some kind of tv ad?" Edward interrupts, clueless.

"Edward! Let me finish. Don't you know anything about Australia?!" I demand, a bit frustrated.

"Bella, I was in South America for a year." Edward rolls his eyes as if I am the one here that is completely clueless.

"Yeah, but Emmett has been one of the trainers on Australia's Biggest Loser for years."

"What?! Wow, really?" Edward seems a little bit excited. "I don't watch much tv…."

"He's kind of a big deal." I quote from Anchorman, but Edward doesn't even seem to grasp my movie knowledge. "How can you not know this?" I demand, surprised. "He is even part owner of the gym we go to…"

Edward frowns as I impart that information, but then his smile comes out again, "We should ask him for discount," he cheekily quips. Then his smile grows bigger. "I know someone famous!"

"You know two people that are famous," I correct Edward, only to be met by his frown once more.

I spend a while explaining that Rosalie won Miss Universe the previous year, and had spent the last 12 months travelling the globe, fulfilling her commitments that come with that title, and that she'd recently signed a contract to be the face of one of Australia's top department stores, as well as being in talks to host 'Next Top Model'. Along with the fame, came some drawbacks, especially being a 'celebrity couple'. Six months ago they realised they had a crazed stalker who'd set up camp in their backyard shed. That was a bit scary.

"Are you freaking serious?!" Edward freaks. "That is like, something that happens on tv, not to people you know! That is crazy!"

"It was really bloody awful. The dude turned out to be relatively harmless, but Rose didn't want to stay in that house anymore. They sold up and are now in their new place." I play with Edward's long, tanned fingers as I talk. We have some maps with trails between us and we are sitting on the floor of my lounge room.

I give Emmett and Rose a call to see if they would be interested in joining our expedition. Rose really doesn't want to, biking not being her thing and Emmett really wants to, but is not sure whether he should. He is filming all week and that's his only day off, he wants to spend it with Rosalie. I try and throw in the added promise of a picnic, but that still doesn't tempt Rose. She decides that she and Emmett will drive to our destination, bringing the picnic with them, and Edward and I can ride our bikes there and meet them. Sounds ok to me.

Half way down the trail I am wishing that I was in the car with Emmett and Rose. This is a killer. I have a mountain bike, but have never really done anything considered mountain biking. Riding around the suburbs is nothing like this rugged trail. I have already come off the bike a few times, and have donated a few pieces of skin to the gravel. Edward is loving it though, he has fallen too, and from my position behind him I can see blood on his elbow and I know there is more on his knee. I can also see his tight butt, and I'm enjoying that, but only when I find myself riding a particularly straight section of the trail, which, unfortunately, is not very often.

When we finally pull into the carpark, seeing Emmett's big 4WD, I am exhausted. I do not want to even think about the prospect of having to ride back again. I dismount and push the bike over to the car. I can see Rose and Emmett over on a grassy area and leaving my bike near the car, limp over to them. I dramatically collapse near the picnic blanket, and Edward follows behind me, greeting Emmett and Rose ultra politely.

"He's just found out that you guys are kind of famous," I explain to my friends as I wave dismissively towards Edward. "He doesn't watch much tv and has missed all news and current affairs from last year."

Edward lightly kicks out at my leg, embarrassed that I'm exposing his ignorance. I just shrug at him, "Just being honest."

"Great, thanks for that," he frowns at me. He turns to Emmett and Rose. "I'm sorry I didn't realise who you guys were… And that you've been dealing with some stalker crap. Sorry I didn't ask how you both were."

Rose just politely smiles, but Emmett claps Edward on the shoulder. "No worries, man, we don't expect you to know everything about us. It's refreshing not to worry about all that other bull crap, just be ourselves. Thank you."

And everything is cool.

Honesty is like that, clears away the bullshit and you can be real. I like that. I think that anyone that knows me realises that about me though. I really value openness and honesty. Perhaps a little too much at times, my lack of filter tends to offend. But despite that, I do appreciate the truth.

I am so tired and sore from our ride that I can hardly sit myself up to enjoy the picnic. Rosalie insists on helping put band-aids on our wounds, which I think is funny because the girl that hates blood is nursing the nurse and paramedic. Rose's camera is out too, so we stuff around, taking crazy pictures and having a great time. Rosalie and I talk weddings, Edward and Emmett talk sports and business.

After the food is consumed, picnic gear packed away and the afternoon is diminishing Edward informs me we probably should head back. I really, really do not want to ride anymore. I grumble as I pull on my helmet, and grumble as we say goodbye to Emmett and Rose, and grumble as I get back on the bike. I'm standing astride my bike, my mouth downturned, when Edward turns back to me, big smile on his face.

"Catch me if you can," and he takes off.

"What the hell…" I sigh.

I push off and slowly follow the dust trail flying up into the air. I lose sight of Edward rather quickly and that makes me a little mad. He knows that I don't want to be going fast. I don't even want to be doing this at all right now. And he leaves me to ride by myself - the only incentive I had to ride before was watching his butt, now I don't even have that. Stupid boy.

I put my head down and begin to pedal a little harder. I will not let him leave me behind, I WILL catch up. Concentrating crazy hard, I manoeuvre the bike over the gravel, down ditches, up rises and dig in crazy hard. As I come out of a particularly tricky ditch and over the rise I let out a bit of a triumphant whoop, which turns into a scream as Edward is standing just off to the side of the track, watching me. Luckily I keep control of my bike, the back wheel sliding out slightly as I hit the brakes.

"Edward! You almost made me stack it big time!" I screech, throwing my bike down in anger. I storm over to where he is standing, smirking at me, and slap my hands against his chest. He doesn't flinch, just smiles bigger at me. Which just succeeds in making me even more mad. My eyes flashing I try and push him again, and he grasps my hands and leans down into my face.

"You're so hot when you're angry," He whispers. I narrow my eyes even further at him, and his mouth quirks up into a crooked grin. "And look where we are… in the middle of nowhere, alone…"

I open my mouth, ready to say something, but no words come, as I realise he is right. I have him all to myself. My hands are still clutched in his, leaning on his chest, and I place my palms flat against him, pushing him til he's leaning against a particularly large gum tree. My hands slide up and down his firm chest, feeling his muscles lift up and down with his breathing. He unclips my helmet, and drops it to the ground near our feet, near where his is.

Edward's hand strokes down the side of my face, his thumb moving over my lips. I open my mouth and capture it in between my teeth, firmly holding it, whilst sliding the tip of my tongue over the top of his thumb. His eyes lower, heavy lidded he seductively stares me down as I suck his thumb right into my mouth, my tongue running over it. His hips push forward against me, his arousal evident in his shorts. I slide my hands down his chest, and rub his erection through the fabric of his pants, while still sucking on his thumb. His Adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows hard. I pop his thumb out of my mouth and move my hands up to the top of his shorts, lowering them, exposing his penis to the afternoon air. I slip my hand over his cock and I begin stroking him up and down. After a few passes of my hand I lower myself down in front of him and just like I had his thumb in my mouth before, I take him in.

"Oh God, Bella," Edward groans as I move my mouth over his hardness. I begin to move a bit faster, but all of a sudden he pulls back suddenly, his penis popping audibly out of my mouth. "Fuck!" He gasps, and pulls me up to my feet, pulling me behind him.

There must be someone coming up the track, and my lovely man is shielding me from sight. I think that's a little funny as I'm fully clothed and he's the one with pants at half mast, but what a gentleman! I peep around Edward's back, but I cannot see anybody.

"What?" I ask, feeling a bit hurt that he stopped me, didn't he enjoy what I was doing?

"Snake!" he hisses, pointing to the ground, and sure enough, there, not more than 2 metres from us is a brown snake, now in the process of slithering away.

As it disappears Edward allows me to move away from behind him, and I glance down at his now deflated penis. Flaccid cocks look kind of funny. I giggle a bit, and he quickly pulls up his shorts.

"Don't laugh, I'm a grower, not a shower…"

This makes me laugh even more. "I wasn't laughing about it's size, you're plenty big enough."

"I know I am," he says, cockily.

"Ok, ok mr schlong, let's get out of here, before another snake comes along. No more fooling around outside!"

I pick up my helmet and I think I hear Edward muttering something about hopefully continuing what we started another time and soon. I jump quickly up on my bike, and turn to face Edward as he's still standing, helmet in hand, bike against a tree.

"Catch me if you can Eddie boy!" I yell and take off at speed.

Admittedly, I do fall a couple more times, the side of my leg and my palm is now suffering from lack of skin, but I make it back slightly before Edward. I'm definitely the winner.


	9. Chapter 9

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CHAPTER 9

My whole body aches. I am never, ever riding a bike again. Never. Muscles I never knew I had are sore. Working while in such a state really sucks. I had been sore when I'd got home from our bike ride. The day after was pretty bad. But today is worse. Much, much worse. I'm doing the early shift today, so I started at 7am. For once, I am wishing that I wasn't on in emergency today, but here I am, rushing around when rushing is the last thing I feel like doing. One patient even suggested that I should swap places with them, because I was hobbling around so much while taking down their blood pressure and temperature. I really would like to swap. Lying down seems like a really lovely idea.

At last it's break time and I'm in the process of heading to my lunch break, moving towards the tea room. Boy, I'm really glad for the break, because I'm starting to feel a little shaky. I think I need to get some food into my system. My ears are ringing a little bit too. Actually, I really don't feel very well. I think that I need to sit down and quick. Spying a chair in the hallway I focus upon it. Get to the chair. Get to the chair. I do not make it to the chair.

I open my eyes, and Rosemary, one of the other nurses working with me today, is looking down at me.

"I fainted, didn't I?" I sigh.

"Sure did, honey." Rosemary states matter-of-factly.

Embarrassingly, I am admitted as a patient, the doctors saying they just want to keep an eye on me overnight. Lying in one of the beds I usually work around, I feel pretty stupid. The doctor thinks that I may have low iron levels, and has given me some iron tablets to boost them up. I blame the stupid mountain bike trip. I am sharing a room with 2 oldies. One is recovering from a stroke, and the other coughs and splutters so much it makes conversation difficult.

I send Edward a text, letting him know that I am in the hospital, and ring Rose. She flew to Melbourne last night for some fashion show thingy and will be there for a couple of days. She feels terrible that I'm in hospital while she's out of town. I tell her that she will just have to make it up to me another time, and she promises me that she will.

Alice brings in some pjs and clean underwear for me, as well as my phone charger and a book. She stays for a little while, telling me all about the new client at work that is just gorgeous. I half listen, having heard this story not all that long ago, just with a different name. Alice and her tortured artist types!

While Alice is still with me I can hear a commotion from out in the hallway. Oh my goodness… I think that Angela is here. Along with her crazy family. When they're out in public I do not lay claim to any of my nephews or my niece: they're nutty. The door bursts open and Jacob, the youngest of the boys, at 4, leaps into the room, wearing a superman cape.

"Aunty Bella!" he calls out, "I'm here to save you! Hi Aunty Allie!"

Paul, the middle boy is 6 and is dressed like a ninja and he spins into the room, kicking and waving his arms. He doesn't speak. I wave and he acknowledges me with a serious nod. Angela enters the room, looking flustered, Maggie in her arms, looking like the spoilt princess that she is. Charlie, the eldest, named after our father, slouches into the room after the troop. He is almost 9 and is too cool for school. This must be embarrassing to him, being seen at the hospital with his family.

They are a whirlwind, Angela chasing after the costumed boys, stopping them from pulling out plugs from equipment and touching the old ladies that I'm sharing the room with. Maggie toddles around, and seems quite taken with Edith, the lady who is recovering from a stroke. She ends up sitting on her bed, playing with her. Charlie sits in a chair next to Alice, playing with his DS. Thankfully, they do not stay long. Hugs and kisses are swapped and promises of a family dinner some time in the near future are made.

Once Alice has left, I am relishing the quiet room. Dinner is brought around and ugh, hospital dinner is disgusting. People complain about hospital food, and as a nurse I kind of just think that they should shut up and be happy that they are being fed. Being on the other side of this, though, is a little different. I have no idea what this meat is… it's grey and slightly rubbery. The gravy is a congealed mess and the vegetables are so over-boiled and washed out, they disintegrate when my fork touches them. I have a few mouth fulls, but am unable to stomach any more than that. I eat the fruit that is my dessert though.

I keep checking my phone, hoping to hear from Edward, but there is nothing. He was working today, and his shift should finish by 6. I watch the clock tick past the minutes, counting down until 6 o'clock, when I should get a text back or a phone call, or what I'm really hoping for, a visit. 6 comes and goes. 7 o'clock comes and goes. My heart sinks. I try reading the book that Alice brought in, but I keep reading the same line and cannot fathom what it is saying. I give up reading and lean back against my pillow, closing my eyes.

I have actually drifted off to sleep when I am awoken by a tickle against my cheek. I open my eyes and am faced with the concerned dark eyes of Edward, peering right in my face. I look past him to the clock, it's past 8.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry I wasn't here earlier," he apologises. "I was out on an overtime call, only just got back. How are you?"

"Baby?" I quirk an eyebrow at the term of endearment, hoping to see his silly white teeth, but his frown is still there at my lack of response to his enquiry after my health. "I'm fine, just low iron apparently. Doctors just want to watch me for he night to make sure I'm ok. I'm blaming your silly mountain biking. Next time you come over to my place waving trail maps around, that silly grin on your face, I'm slamming the door back in your face. You need to find another riding partner, partner."

"Yeah right, you just need to eat more meat…" His eyes glint as he adds, "without being interrupted by snakes."

"Oh my goodness, you just did not make a joke about head jobs…" I whisper, hoping that the ladies are asleep that I'm sharing the room with. I am slightly appalled and slightly proud. My goodness this boy confuses me. I'm full of such conflicting emotions around him.

"I brought you flowers," Edward tries to change the subject, waving a bunch of sad yellow daisies. "They're a bit pathetic, sorry. They were the only ones left, I am a bit late. Sorry, I'll get you better ones tomorrow."

"They're lovely, thank you."

Edward sits himself down on the edge of my bed, stroking the hair away from my forehead. "I'm sorry you're in here."

"Me too, I hate being on this side of the bed," I sigh.

"Maybe we can make this side of the bed a bit more fun…"

That exciting thought is interrupted by Christine, who is here to check my temperature and take my blood pressure. Edward sits back off the bed and onto a chair at the side of the room. I allow my eyes to take him in while I'm being poked and prodded. He's in a plain black t-shirt that hugs his biceps slightly, and is snagged on the front of his belt buckle, holding up his dark jeans. His feet are sporting his usual black flip flops and his toes are wriggling while he waits. His long fingers are tapping out an erratic rhythm onto the hand rests of his chair, breaking only for him to run his fingers through his dark hair occasionally. He really is handsome. I still feel like I'm in denial about him actually being interested in me. I'm not overly friendly, I am moody, that's for sure, I have crooked teeth and bad hair. Maybe it's just my boobs. But he seems to like even just talking to me on the phone. I realise that I'm frowning deeply, staring at him, and Edward has his usual huge grin, spread over his face.

Once Christine has moved to the other patients in the room, Edward moves back to sit on the side of the bed, and his thumb runs over my forehead, "What are you frowning about, gorgeous girl?"

I try to uncrease my forehead, "Nothing, just thinking… it's hard work you know," I quip, in an attempt to divert his attention. "Now, I believe you mentioned something about maybe making this situation a little bit more fun…"

"Ahh, that I did. I was thinking that more fun would be a game of charades."

The frown comes back, and Edward chuckles at me.

"I was thinking something a little bit more naughty than charades…" My voice is low and I make sure Christine isn't looking as I run my hospital wrist-banded arm down his chest, pulling at the edge of his t-shirt where it meets his belt. I catch sight of his defined abs and I cock my eyebrow seductively at him.

"Isabella, you are are naughty, naughty nurse…" Edward grins, leaning towards me, then suddenly pulls back. "Are you sure you don't want to just play one round of charades, I have some really good ideas…"

"Get here," I pull hard on his t-shirt and Edward's freaky hot mouth clashes against mine, my fingers spreading underneath his t-shirt, stroking his smooth skin along his side.

Edward chuckles, "That tickles," he pulls back slightly.

There is a clearing of a throat and I look up to see Christine smirking at us, as she pulls the curtain around my bed, allowing for a slight bit more privacy. I bite my lip, a bit ashamed, but thankful and Christine leaves the room.

"And that's about the extent of the privacy we're gonna get," I whisper, "Let's make the most of it!"

Edward brings his lips back to mine, this time slower, and I relish his touch. Enjoying the fact that we do not have to be anywhere, we have this time to enjoy each other. Making out with Edward is such a sweet torture. His kisses are breath-takingly divine, and I could easily stay like this forever, connected by our lips. But, his touch also creates such a stir within me that I want his mouth to move away from my mouth, to other areas. I want to be connected to him in every single way possible. I want to feel him as close as two people possibly can be, I want him inside of me. I want him there forever. And that thought freaks the absolute essence out of me.

I refuse to look into buying a house because I do not really want to be stuck somewhere. What if I see something I like more somewhere else and I'm here, committed to a house that I don't really want anymore? I have pushed away every single guy that has ever pursued me, because I am so frightened that if I truly let them in, if they know who I really am, they will leave me. And I will be gutted.

I have never voluntarily wanted to spend forever with someone. And Edward is here, just with his kisses making me want to never kiss anyone else, ever again. He has overtaken my life with his smile, his laugh, his kindness, His warmth. He is so much more than just a cute butt, white teeth and a beard. He is Edward. And I think I am falling in love with him.

Edward brings his hand up to cup my cheek, and as he makes contact his lips pull back. "Bella, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm great," I smile up at him.

"But, you're crying."

My hand reaches up to my face and sure enough, tears are making their way down my cheek. Great. The man makes me fall in love and cracks my hard exterior and I am now crying in front of him. I frantically brush at my tears, and giggle a little hysterically. "I'm fine, must just be a little overwhelmed by today," I attempt to compose myself.

Edward looks down at me, with so much kindness, compassion, caring and I suppose, love in his eyes, that I'm worried that I'm going to cry again.

"You need to faint more often, it turns you into a bit of a softie," Edward says affectionately.

"Oh, stop it, you're keeping me awake, I'm tired." I grouchily sneer.

"And… she's back, miss frowny face," Edward chuckles, kissing me on my forehead. "I'll let you sleep then, I'm not working tomorrow, shall I escort you home? Text me when you're being discharged and I'll come get you."

As he exits the room, I exhale, rubbing my hands down my face. This is crazy how emotional I am being. There is a bit of a cough from the lady I haven't been able to speak to and then a croaky voice speaks out.

"Wow, that was hot. If only I were decades younger."

"You're telling me," Edith responds.

I'm silent for a moment, shocked that they are awake, then they begin to laugh. I join in.


	10. Chapter 10

warm  
CHAPTER 10

The wedding is almost here. One week away. This weekend we are celebrating the last weekend that Emmett and Rose will be 'single'. Alice has very strategically organised Rosalie's hens show - we will be going on a wine tasting tour during the day, followed by a cocktail style dinner at Rose's house, which is being catered by a professional company, then whoever would like to is going out for an evening on the town - dancing and all round revelry. I have no idea what has been organised for Emmett, but Edward has been invited and he's been very keen for a boy's night.

I'm kind of hoping we will cross paths at some stage of the evening. This week has been intense with all the preparations for the hens night, as well as the wedding, and any spare moment I have had has been spent with Rosalie and Alice. I have not seen Edward since he drove me home from the hospital, other than once when he was bringing a patient in to emergency. He kissed me quickly that day, but I had to rush back to work, as did he.

Alice is primping and preening Rose and I. Rosalie looks absolutely beautiful in a flowery cocktail dress, her hair twisted neatly into a gorgeous bun atop her head. Alice has spent over an hour straightening my mass of dark hair, and it finally is looking wave-less. And really loooong. It's hanging well past the middle of my back, and I kind of like it. I've bitten the bullet and am wearing a strapless, little black dress. For our wine tour I have a little cardigan that covers my shoulders, with the option of whipping it off when we go out on the town. I'm sporting my first ever strapless bra, and it's tight and uncomfortable. I'm hoping the consumption of wine will cause my senses to be dulled to such an extent that I cannot feel it anymore.

Alice is being extremely anal - she has checklists and timetables, ultra controlling. Rose is coping with her exceptionally well, being very patient with her. I, on the other hand, am ready to rip up her lists, except she has them laminated. I decide that I'll get the scissors onto them. I'm looking through the kitchen drawers searching for some scissors when Alice grabs me by my arm and begins telling me what responsibilities will be mine for the day. I cross my arms and narrow my eyes at her, and it takes her a few minutes before she realises that I'm actually pretty pissed with her.

"This is important, Bella," she hisses at me.

"Allie, you need to relax a bit, because if you keep acting like this, no one is going to enjoy themselves. Look, you have organised an amazing day: let's enjoy it. If we spend 5 minutes extra at one winery, then that is ok. If we miss out on one because everyone is having too much fun somewhere else, that's ok. Chill out, Al. Have some fun. This is not about you putting on the perfect show, it's about Rose celebrating with her friends."

Alice's serious, composed face falls, and her eyes fill with tears. "I know I'm being intense, I'm sorry."

I roll my eyes a bit and pull her into a hug. "It's going to be great, Alice. You've worked really hard, you just need to let it go a little bit and have some fun, ok?"

Alice nods, composes herself, then smiles.

She is better as the day goes by, and by the time we are finishing off at the house, ready to go out dancing she really has relaxed. Most of Rose's workmates have left, so it's just Rose, Alice, me and a couple of other friends: Jess and Lauren. We can all fit in the one car, so Alice decides she'll be our designated driver and we head into the city.

We have a few drinks at a jazz bar down this tiny side street, Rose in her trashy looking bright pink veil, proclaiming her as the bride to be. I had wanted to put together some challenges and dares for Rose, but Alice had denied me the pleasure. Apparently such dares and challenges were for 'bogan' hen's nights, and since this was to be a 'classy' event such atrocities were not to be committed. I grumbled a lot about it, but decided that it wasn't worth the argument, we were going to have fun no matter what.

We're all wanting some dessert, so end up at a restaurant eating chocolate and pancakes and syrupy goodness, before hearing some loud music from down the street, and we stumble our way up the street in our heels, ready to get into some dancing.

Packed out on the dancefloor, yelling out the words to the songs that we know, we are having a great time, our little group in a circle, moving and swaying to the beat. Rose is hilarious, she is always so graceful and co-ordinated usually, but with a few drinks below her belt she is very happy and her movements are spasmodic and very funny. I have danced over to her side, making sure that no one is going to take advantage of the tipsy bride-to-be. After we have been dancing for a while, and my hair is sweaty and the straightness has been danced away, I decide it may just be time to grab some water. As I am about to turn to Rose to let her know, someone behind me slides their hands over my ass. I spin around to slap them, and meet my favourite white toothy smile. I turn to see Emmett pashing Rosalie and Alice telling off Gerry, Emmett's best man who had organised the boy's evening. I assume that this is probably bad luck or something that Alice is not very happy about. I shrug at her, and turn back to Edward.

"You are looking edible," he whispers into my ear as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I don't have straps on, I'm so frightened a boob is going to pop out at any moment," I admit.

"And that's a bad thing because…?"

"You want all the dudes here tonight to see my boob?"

His hands move to the top of my dress and he attempts to hitch it up higher.

"Careful, you're making my bum hang out the back!"

"Oh my goodness, what are you wearing?! It's too little! I need to get you back home, where you can wear this only for me." I shush him by placing my mouth against his. I can still feel his hands at the edge of my bum, trying to hide it from the crowd. I push back against his hands, and they become more exploratory instead of protective. Yep, just what I was after.

"Have you been having a good night?" I breathe when his mouth moves from mine, down my neck.

"Much better now that I've seen you."

I let the music guide my movements as I lean against Edward's strong body, his hands moving up and down my back and butt. I turn so my back is against him and grind down towards the floor, making sure my bum presses his pelvis as I do. When I come back up there is definitely a much more defined bump in his pants. I press against it a few more times, looking back at him over my shoulder as I do. The next time I come back up his arms pull me fully upright and his hot breath against my ear informs me that if I do that much more he'll be very uncomfortable for the rest of the night with messy jocks.

I devilishly go to do it again, but his firm grip on my shoulders stops my fun. He leads me off the dance floor, I flash Alice a look and mouth that i'll be back. She looks like she may have forgiven Gerry for their gatecrashing, and they're dancing close. Hmmm… interesting. Not quite as close as Emmett and Rosalie though, I think that both of them must have been plied with alcohol and they're really letting loose.

Edward orders a couple of bottles of water and we thirstily guzzle them down.

"So, have you been looking at other women unclothed this evening?" I yell over the music.

Edward looks overly shocked, "Of course not, I would never disrespect you so!" I frown at him, and his features smooth out and he shrugs. "I hardly looked and never touched."

I laugh, but even to my ears it sounds forced. "Yeah, right."

With the loudness of the club Edward couldn't possibly have heard my words, but my displeasure is obvious enough and he looks momentarily hurt. It is completely irrational but I cannot help the surge of jealousy that rushes through me when I consider Edward becoming aroused looking at another girl. As we stand facing each other in the crowded room I realise that despite the depth of feeling I have for this man there is much we haven't spoken about. The physical chemistry between us tends to overwhelm any logical conversation. And we really need to really have that conversation. We need to have lots of conversations.

"Gerry wanted to do the stripper thing," Edward says. "I 'spose I didn't put up much objection."

I shrug, not really wanting to talk about this now. And it's weird, we haven't defined our relationship, haven't said if we're just having some fun together, or if we are dating, or if we're committed in a boyfriend/girlfriend way. I know for sure that I am falling in love with him, but I don't really really know him. We have been enjoying each other's company, but we haven't had the real serious conversations. He hasn't pressured me into having sex, he hasn't told me about the rest of his family, I haven't told him about mine… And boy, my mind has turned serious. But, I'm not about to judge him based on him wanting to go see some strippers.

Edward seems to realise that I have gone all introspective and serious, but he doesn't seem to want to press me to find out exactly what is going on in my mind. I'm glad because now is not the time or the place.

But it will need to become the right time and place sometime real soon.


	11. Chapter 11

warm  
CHAPTER 11

"This time tomorrow you are going to be bonking your brains out as a married woman!" I squeal excitedly at Rosalie.

We are in her childhood bedroom, squished in her bed together, giggling when we're meant to be going to sleep. Alice told us that we need to be asleep by 9:30 at the latest, because we need to be at the hair-dressers at 6:30am. It's now just ticked over 11pm, but we're both a little bit too excited to be sleeping. I'm sure that the bags under my eyes tomorrow will be a sign that I did not take my sister's warnings seriously, but right now I am talking to my bestie about naughty things and that is much more important than getting an early night.

"Bella!" Rose squirms with embarrassment.

"Don't be ashamed of it, you're going to be having so much fun," I waggle my eyebrows at her.

"We'll probably be so tired that we fall straight to sleep," Rose giggles.

I smile at her, so glad that despite her crazy ordeals that she has gone through she hasn't lost the sweetness that is the essence of Rosalie. And I'm so glad that she and Emmett found each other. They are so perfectly suited. Emmett was always this huge, gentle giant that has been a constant presence in my life since meeting as 5 year olds on our first day of school. I have always been close with him and am so pleased that he has found the perfect woman for him. The most perfect couple on the planet there, Emmett and Rose. I grab her hands and give them a squeeze, telling her that she is going to have an amazing husband.

We do manage to drift off to sleep, but it seems like it's not long after that Alice is in the bedroom, whipping open the curtains, getting us up and ready to go get our hair and makeup done. Rosalie looks a bit nervous, but not too bad. When we get back to the Hale's house we are met with the photographer, who wants to take a few shots of us getting ready. We slip into our dresses, and Alice and I help Rose get into her perfectly gorgeous dress. It is really old fashioned, but still looks modern and gorgeous at the same time. It has a higher laced neck and she looks like a princess and the long veil just sets off the look perfectly.

Rosalie's parents look pretty emotional as she steps out of the bedroom, all decked out. Alice passes out our bouquets, white orchids, of which Alice and I have matching ones in our hair, which I have pulled back in an understated low twist at the back of my neck.

The photographer takes some pictures as we move out of the house and into the cars. Arriving at the church I ruffle Rosalie's dress a little bit and rearrange her veil, give her hand a squeeze, then we move into the foyer.

Alice starts off the procession as we hear the music begin, and she walks into the church.

"Thank you for being here with me today, Bella." Rose whispers.

"I love you, beautiful girl." I smile at her. "Now, go get yourself your sexy husband."

Mr Hale looks at me a little sternly, but I wink at him, then hear my cue and begin my walk down the aisle. I can spot Edward's head above most of the congregation, and he is beaming at me. The place is packed! I look back up towards the stage, and there is Emmett, looking spectacularly dashing in his suit, an orchid matching the one in my hair on his lapel. Gerry is standing next to him, looking very handsome too. Next to Gerry is Stuart, Emmett's work-mate. Alice has almost made it to the stage. She looks beautiful too.

The Pastor asks the congregation to stand for the entrance of the bride, and as I'm passing where Edward is sitting the whole room stands up. Edward isn't looking back to where Rosalie is entering, his eyes are on me. I bite my lip, a little embarrassed, as he pouts his lips in a slight kissy face at me. Darn it, even his silly faces do crazy things to my insides! I turn back to the stage and step up, finding my place next to Alice, and watch as Rose steps towards Emmett, clutching her Dad's arm. I can see a tear slide down Emmett's face, and that does more crazy things to my insides. He is so overwhelmed that he's marrying his sweetheart. That's just gorgeous.

The ceremony goes in a flash, and before I know it, the Pastor is announcing Mr and Mrs Emmett McCarty, and a cheer goes up from the congregation. Both Emmett and Rose are smiling so hard, they're giving Edward's grins a run for their money. I link arms with Gerry, seeing as I'm the maid of honour and he's the best man, and we make our way down the aisle after Emmett and Rose, greeting friends and family.

More photos follow, first in and around the church, then we make our way to the botanic gardens and a full on photography session ensues. I do not think that I have ever smiled so much in my life. My cheeks are aching by the time we make it to the reception. It's pretty crazily fancy, and I'm really wishing that I was sitting at the table that Edward is at, not that I'm hating where I am right now, I just want to be with Edward. Being around Emmett and Rose all day, and they're so affectionate and clearly in love… I'm feeling like I need some love and affection too.

I'm being such a bad bridesmaid. Emmett and Rosalie are in the middle of their bridal waltz, dancing to 'The Way You Look Tonight' by Tony Bennet and I'm not watching them at all. My eyes are glued to Edward, over the other side of the room, his dark eyes meeting mine. Gerry has to nudge me a little when it's time for us to get up and join in. I spin around the floor a few times with him, and when the song changes I push him towards Alice so they can dance together, while I move towards Edward, who has moved over to the dance floor and his arms are outstretched, ready for me to lean into.

"Rosalie and Emmett look amazing together, and I know they're meant to be the focus, but hell, I have been unable to take my eyes off you all day and night," Edward smiles down at me. My fingers grasp the lapels of his jacket and I agree with him.

"You've been distracting me all day. You look so fantastically hot in a suit," I grin at him. "So… I have hardly seen you all week again, which sucks! Now that this wedding business is over I may have some spare time again!"

"We'll have to make some plans," Edward spins me around under his arm. I giggle, not really knowing what I'm doing, but enjoying having fun with him.

Not long after, Rosalie taps me on the shoulder and asks for my help as she goes to the ladies room. I follow her into the toilet, and perform the important maid of honour task of holding up her dress for her as she does her business. I do not know how people did this in the olden days, wearing these huge hooped dresses, and having to do their normal, daily tasks. Toiletting is especially difficult. I pass her some toilet paper and look away as she finishes up.

Washing our hands at the sink we catch each other's eyes in the mirror and smile.

"Today has gone by so fast!" Rose breathes. "I can't believe that I'm married!"

"Yep, you sure are, Mrs McCarty!" I laugh.

"Mrs McCarty! Wow, I don't feel old enough to be a Mrs!" Rose giggles, then grasps my arm tightly. "I'm going to be having married sex soon!"

"You guys leaving?" I ask, my eyes glinting.

"Yep, we'll head off now, I think. I'm so nervous and excited!"

"I'm so jealous that you're going to the Maldives for 2 weeks. That is going to be spectacular!" I breathe. "Don't forget to wear sunscreen and have lots of sexy times."

"I definitely wont forget to do that!" Rose smiles cheekily at me, then pulls me into a tight hug. "Thanks for being awesome."

I give her a big squeeze, "Thanks for being my best friend. I'm glad Emmett met you. Now you go jump your hot hubby's bones." I slap Rose lightly on the backside as we exit the bathroom. She yelps and skips off towards Emmett.

Edward holds my hand as I shed a little tear as we wave off Emmett and Rosalie a few minutes later.

"This is the second time I've seen you cry now," Edward smiles fondly at me. "If you're not careful I'm really going to think you aren't as hard as you like to portray."

"You know I'm tough. I haven't seen you cry though. Might need to make that happen," I pretend to kick at his balls.

"Ooh, if you do that you will certainly see me cry!" Edward pulls away from me, protecting himself. "I'm sure that you'll make me cry one day, Bella. Hopefully not tonight."

"As if I'd make you cry. You're too smiley to cry," I go to tickle his side and he pulls away even more.

I turn back to the function room, which is still full of people, many couples are swaying together on the dance floor, including Gerry and Alice, Mr and Mrs Hale and Mr and Mrs McCarty. I feel really exhausted all of a sudden though. Dancing doesn't interest me right now, bed does. Maybe I should have listened to Alice's orders yesterday and gone to sleep earlier. Or maybe I'm still suffering with low iron levels and that dreaded mountain biking trip. I kick off my shoes and pick up my bouquet and clutch.

"Can you please take me home? I feel really sleepy all of a sudden," I request Edward.

He leads me out to his car and I fall asleep as soon as we're on the road. I wake as the car pulls to a stop in my driveway. Edward helps me out of the car and he even finds my keys in my purse and opens the door for me, leading me down the hall to my bedroom. I turn on the small bedside lamp, illuminating the room into a dull glow. I let him gently extract the bobby pins from my hair, and I watch him carefully place the orchid from my hair on top of my chest of drawers.

"Unzip me?" I turn my back to him, and his fingers deftly move down the zipper on the dress and he unclasps my bra at the same time. His strong hands massage my shoulders, which pushes the straps of my dress and my bra down my arms. My dress falls forward at the front, taking my bra with it. The dress catches on my hips for a second, but Edward's hands rub down my spine, then he spreads out his fingers at the base of my back, which knocks the dress off the perch of my hips, and it pools around my bare feet. He is standing behind me, my hair curling down my back, my arms by my sides, dressed only in my underpants. Edward slowly turns me so I'm facing him, my nipples brushing against his jacket as he does so. He lightly kisses my lips, and my eyes stutter shut. I can feel him move back away from me, but I don't open my eyes again straight away, I only do so when his hand clasps mine and he leads me over to my bed. He has taken off his jacket and shoes. I climb into my bed, and he moves around to the other side of the bed, undoing his suit pants as he does so. I watch as he folds them over the end of my bed, then he starts on his shirt buttons. His shirt is then peeled off his arms, and he hangs it on the bedpost. He sits on the other side of my bed, he's just in his jocks.

"I know you're tired, I am not here to try anything. I just want to lie with you in my arms, is that ok?" Edward asks quietly.

I nod sleepily and he smiles and climbs underneath the covers with me. His skin is so warm and soft, yet the hardness of his muscles cuts through the softness too. He pulls my back against his stomach, wrapping his arms around me. My eyes close again, and as I drift off to sleep I am not sure whether I hear Edward or imagine him whisper, "I love you."


	12. Chapter 12

warm  
CHAPTER 12

Wow, it's hot. I am sweating in my bed. As I come to more of my senses, I realise that it's the middle of the night still, and I probably shouldn't be so warm. I hope that I'm not coming down with something. Then, I realise that I am not alone. An arm is wrapped around my front, resting on one of my boobs. My back is pressed against a strong body, and I can feel something hard against my backside.

Wow. That is hot.

I wriggle a little bit, and Edward squeezes my boob slightly and pulls me even closer than I was before.

"Are you really awake this time?" He asks.

I turn slightly to face him, it's quite dark in here but I can just make out his sleep mussed hair and lazy eyes. I can clearly see his white teeth.

"What do you mean, this time?" I yawn.

"You keep wriggling and moaning and pressing yourself against me, getting me all excited, and then you say something about sandwiches or ribbons and start snoring. It's a little frustrating," Edward explains.

"Did you, um, help yourself out with that tension?" I question him, mimicking a certain hand movement.

"No!" Edward laughs, "Well, maybe a little, but I didn't make myself come with you lying in bed next to me. I may have touched a little bit. But, it seems that you're really awake this time!"

I laugh, "I think I'm awake… unless I'm dreaming that you are here in bed with me…"

"I really am here, feel this?" He kisses my shoulder, "that's really my lips. Feel this?" he lightly brushes a hand over my breast, "that's really my hand. Feel this?" he presses his hard penis against my hip, "that's really-"

"Ok, ok! You're really here, I get it!" I giggle, then yawning again, my back arches up, popping my boobs above the covers. Edward's greedy eyes take in the sight, and his greedy hands reach out to cop a feel, I pull the covers back up to cover myself. "I thought you were just here to 'hold me in your arms'."

"I lied," Edward's voice is muffled as he burrows under the covers to touch my body with his talented hands and oh so talented mouth. I've never had another guy at home with me in my bed, and I really like it. Really. A fleeting thought passes through my mind that Rosalie is experiencing the same thing tonight, with her new husband. The man of her dreams. And what starts off as a fleeting thought turns into more deeper thoughts, and as things are becoming really heated under my covers I start to feel really cold in my thoughts. I do not want this to be just a bit of fooling around. Should I be having sex with this man right now when I do not even know his middle name? I have not met his family. I do not know him. It's never been a problem in the past: hassle free hook ups have been fine... But this isn't hassle free for me. I'm invested in this so much more and my heart is on the line.

Edward senses that my mind is not really into this anymore, and he pokes his head up out of the covers, looking at me curiously. His hair is really crazily messed up, and his eyes are full of lust, I can feel his erection pressed against the outside of my undies, and I'm throbbing with want at the contact, but I just can't do this. It would be so easy, just to let him press in, to welcome him into my body and fulfil the aching need that is so there to have him inside of me. I want to. I really do. He wants to, I can feel that too. But I just can't.

"Are you ok?" Edward questions.

I can feel my eyes fill with tears. Damn. This is embarrassing. Furiously blinking I try to compose myself, and go to say something, anything, to let Edward know that I am alright, but when I go to open my mouth all that comes out is a wavery breath. I know if I keep trying to talk I'm just going to burst into tears, so I slam my mouth shut and just nod.

Edward rolls off of me, taking away his warmth from where I really was enjoying him, but feeling so confused about as well. Having him off of me allows me to think a bit more clearly.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that I'm being so crazy." I moan into my hands, which are wiping at my face.

"I'm a bit confused," Edward says quietly.

"I am so sorry. I would be too, if I were you." I move my hands away from my face and turn to face him. He's lying on his back, looking up at my ceiling. His profile is very stately - he has a strong jawline and a slightly un-straight nose. I want to trace along it with my finger. His defined shoulder is right in front of my face and I really want to press my lips against it, but probably shouldn't.

"I feel so much when I'm with you," I say quietly. "I really, really, really like you. And when I'm with you I just want to consume you and have you consume me… I'm sounding dramatic, sorry. I just am trying to find the words to describe this."

Edward stays looking at the ceiling. Not giving me much feedback as to what he's thinking. So, I plough on ahead with my craziness.

"I have never wanted to commit to anyone or anything before. But I do now, but at the same time I'm so freaking scared. I guess I'm still a bit stuffed up from losing my Dad when I was younger."

"How did he die?" Edward asks me in a hushed voice.

"Car accident. And…" I take a deep breath. "It was my fault."

Edward doesn't say anything. He just rolls back towards me and pulls me into his arms. I allow myself to be held and just absorb the affection for a while. Once I've basked in his embrace for a moment I pull back slightly, my face resting on his chest and I elaborate.

"I was 15. I had snuck out to go to a party, and the cops had been called as it got a bit out of hand. My dad was a policeman… so I was pretty caught out when he and his partner arrived on the scene. He was so furious. He pulled me out of the party in front of all my friends. I was so embarrassed and angry with him. He put me in the back of the cop car like a criminal to take me home. I remember glaring angrily at the back of Dad's curly black hair, with a few greys scattered through. His partner was awfully silent in the passenger seat, allowing this father daughter moment to play out. We were almost home when dad sighed and he turned around to talk to me. I can still see his dark eyebrows frowning at me. I don't remember what he said, because I could see what he couldn't. He had missed a stop sign and I could see this delivery truck coming towards us." My voice peters out and I can't say anymore. Edward has frozen, his fingers no longer stroking my side.

"Were you hurt?" Edward eventually speaks into my hair, his voice very quiet.

I shake my head. "His side of the car took all the damage. I was fine. His partner had some cuts but was pretty much fine too. I can still see dad, slumped over the steering wheel. And he didn't move. I have felt really affected by guilt for a long time. And I also am frightened of really opening up and committing to a man. Because they leave you. It's stupid and illogical. But that is partly why I freak out a little with you. It's not fair on you, but that is just how it is. I'm trying. But it scares me."

Edward doesn't say anything. Which scares me too. So, I just figure while I'm freaking him out I'd better just continue.

"And… I don't really want to just sleep with you. I mean, I want to. I really, really want to. You drive me crazy. In a good way. But, we haven't really said what we expect from each other - are we just fooling around? Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? How long are you planning on even being in Sydney for? I haven't even been to your house, and you want to stick your penis in my vagina! Do you just kinda like me or is it more than that? And we have just been at a wedding, and I know girls aren't supposed to admit how much they'd like that kind of commitment, but I think that is kind of crazy romantic and I would kinda like to have that one day. Maybe even with you… Have you mentioned me to your dad or brother? And my sister Angela wants me to invite you to a family dinner, but that will probably freak you out because we're all crazy…"

Edward has started laughing at me again. He's doing that stupid, silent shaking laugh that he does when he knows that it's going to make me angry that he's laughing at me. But, to be honest, I'm not that angry, I'm just glad that he's showing some kind of response that is more than silence. But for the sake of consistency and not to freak him out more with my weirdness I smack at his chest.

He catches my hands and pulls me into a hug.

"You are a crazy, wonderful girl, Isabella. I wish we had of talked about all of this stuff sooner." He kisses at my forehead. "I don't need to be just having sex with you, I want more than that, ok?"

"So you're ok to go kinda slow?" I ask hesitantly. "See where this goes?"

"I don't mind, sure…. It's not going to be easy, you drive me crazy, girl." Edward shrugs.

I cringe a little bit, covering my boobs a bit more, delivering Edward from temptation. He quirks an eyebrow at me and slides a long finger along my bare shoulder. "Family dinner, hey?"

"Well, I was wondering," I hesitate, not sure if this will be ok or not. "My older sister Angela has invited us over to her place. Are you free Wednesday night?"

Edward makes a thoughtful face, "Sure.. I think I'm finishing work at 6, should be able to make dinner."

"Just warning you, she has 4 kids, and they're pretty crazy. And, Alice will be there, and Angela's husband, Ben, and probably my mum…"

"Wow, that really is a family dinner!" Edward laughs. "That's fine, Bella, I'd love to meet the rest of your family."

Phew, that's a relief. I didn't want to be coming across as weird and pushing things too quickly, so it's great that he so easily agreed to coming with me.

"I'll pick you up at 6:30 on Wednesday, then. I can finally see your house!" I'm a little excited at that prospect. I have not been to Edwards place yet. Actually, that's probably weird that he's coming with me to a family dinner and I've not been to his house. "Why haven't I seen your house yet?"

"Your place is much nicer. I have hardly anything in mine, and it's still full of boxes and it's tiny." Edward says matter-of-factly.

"I can help you unpack if you want," I offer.

"You don't need to do that. I'll get there eventually." Edward smiles. "And you can pick me up, that would be lovely, thank you."

"Ok…. Dinner… And a look at your house," I nod matter-of-factly.

Edward laughs, but he has agreed. Maybe when we get to know one another a bit more I will stop being so insane. Maybe.


	13. Chapter 13

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CHAPTER 13

My hands are sweaty and I'm wringing them together. I'm about to go over to Edward's place to pick him up for family dinner night. And I'm packing it. I'm nervous because I'm going to see Edward's house. I'm nervous because he is going to meet my crazy family. It is going to be insane. I have no idea what they are going to say to Edward or do to him. Or do or say to me.

I can't believe we had that weird conversation after the wedding. Edward must think I'm completely psychotic. At least he wasn't running away, screaming.

Much like I feel doing right now. And much like what will most probably happen after Edward has met the rest of my family. My family will honestly allow the crazy train to take off. Man… The words in my brain are not even making sense I'm so worked up by this.

I wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans and back out of the drive way and head towards Edward's house. I can't wait to see what it's like inside. I wonder if he'll be tidy or messy. I really want to snoop in his bathroom cupboard. You can tell a lot about a person from looking in their bathroom cupboard. Yep, nosy me…

I turn up Edward's street, and bloody hell. I can see him. He's waiting outside. I pull up and he moves to the car, his hands full of flowers and chocolates. What a big suck up. I lean over and open the passenger door from the inside and he sits himself down, kissing me on the cheek as he does.

"Let's go meet the fam!" Edward declares, excitedly.

"Yeah…. woo…". I deadpan as I pull away from the kerb.

"I'm sure it's going to be great, don't be so worried, you're making me nervous."

I keep my mouth shut the whole way to Angela's, not just to stop Edward from being nervous, but also to stop myself telling him off that I wasn't able to see inside his house. He knew that I was looking forward to seeing his place, and he deliberately was waiting outside his house? I'm a bit angry with him. So nope, not saying a word. I'm quite proud of myself - restraint like this is rare.

Paul is out the front when we arrive. He shoots Edward with a Nerf gun, right in the head, before running away. I'm a little bit pleased. Well done Paul! Edward shakes it off and heads up to the front door, me following a few steps behind, giggling. He knocks at the door, then turns back to me, a nervous grin on his face.

Ben opens the door, and welcomes us into the house. Ben is a lovely guy, a little bland and boring for my tastes, but he is nice enough. He is a high school science teacher and looks like it. He's balding, got the belly, glasses and is socially a little awkward. He has never really had to be the one the have to instigate any conversation, seeing as Angela has the gift of the gab. As does the rest of my family. Paul seems to take after Ben and his lack of speaking. You hardly ever get two words out of that kid. Full of character though.

As soon as we step through the door we can hear the noise emanating from the kitchen. I take a deep breath and step into the kitchen.

"Bella!" Angela is carving a roast, Alice is setting the table and mum is seated at the kitchen bench with a big glass of wine in front of her. I do the rounds, kissing cheeks and hugging.

"Everyone, this is Edward," I gesture to Edward, who is standing in the doorway, flowers and chocolates in hand.

Alice waves a fork in his direction and Angela throws her arms around him, whilst still holding the carving knife and fork. Then, my mum eyes him up and down, takes a big swig of her wine then winks at him.

"You're a bit hot, aren't you, Edward?" she curls her lip, I think she's trying to look seductive.

"Oh my goodness, mum, please, leave him alone!" I sigh.

Edward places the flowers and chocolates down on the side table and sits next to mum and they get along famously. She is being a hopeless flirt, and he is flirting back with her. Bloody charming boy that he is. I'm a bit astounded. Maggie has climbed up on his lap and the sight of Edward with a little kid in his arms makes my girly parts tingle.

Angela comes up behind me, "Freaking hell, Bella. Marry him. Now."

Alice comes up to my other side. "Look at him, he's the perfect man."

I do look at him too. Surrounded by my nephews and niece and my mother, all of them looking comfortable and at home. He is laughing, so are they. It fits. He fits in my life. He looks up at me and my sisters, all eyeballing him. He tilts his head to the side, then beams his bright smile at us. Alice and Angela grasp my shoulders and sigh. I shrug them off and move towards the dining table.

We're eating dinner and I have decided.

No more freaking out. He likes my family. He likes me. He puts up with me treating him like crap and all my weirdness. He is athletic, friendly, sexy as hell and perfect for me.

I cannot wait to get him home.

And when my stupid family decide they want to embarrass me as much as possible by telling crazy stories about me from when I was growing up, I really cannot wait to get home.

"And then she, in front of the whole school, throws up, all over the stage!"

"Har, har, har… laugh it up everyone. I remember the time that Angela wet herself -"

"Stop!" Angela screeches at me, spilling her drink as she reaches out over the table to stop me spilling her secrets. Thankfully this puts a stop to all tale-telling and we mop up the spill and start to clean up all the dishes. The kids pull Edward up to their rooms to show him their toys, Ben is hiding somewhere and us girls are left doing the dishes.

"Seriously Bella, he is fucking awesome," Alice states, ever eloquent, her hands in the sudsy water.

"I'm so jealous," Angela sighs, after making sure that her husband isn't lurking, listening to her pine over another man. "I wish he was in my bed."

I flick her with a tea-towel, "Eyes off my man," I joke.

Mum is back at the kitchen bench with more wine, typical mum style. She waves her glass at me. "Isabella, you certainly have caught yourself a keeper there. I know it. Just like I knew with your father, I know with Edward." I freeze, a plate in my hand. I slowly turn to face her, and she is staring me right in the eye with her clear blue eyes. She is giving me her blessing. She slightly nods at me, then grins. "I'd tap that."

"Oh God, mum!" Alice, Angela and I all screech together.

Mum just grins over her glass. She is basking in the reaction of us. I think she just likes to create drama to hear us all squeal and be crazy, because her house is quiet without all us girls crowding her like we once were.

Once all the dishes are done I carry a cup of coffee up the hall and watch from the doorway as Edward is having a light sabre battle with the boys, while clutching Maggie to his waist.

"I'll save you, Princess Maggie!" he cries out, as he spins away from Charlie's attack. Jacob has his hands outstretched, using the force I presume. Paul is perched atop the bunk, aiming his nerf gun at Edward again. I smile as he gets hit in the back of the head numerous times, rapid fire style.

"Gotcha Edward! You're a goner!" Paul crows loudly, and I'm gaping at him. I do not think I have ever heard him at such high volume. Wow. Edward spins to face him and pulls him down off the bunk, Paul squealing with laughter. Edward spins around with his arms full of kid, Paul and Maggie screaming with joy.

Edward catches sight of me and yells for the kids to get me, but I stop them with a serious look and a wave of my hot drink. Thank goodness for coffee. Helpful in so many ways.

Not long after we bid my family farewell and are heading homewards. He is pretty quiet.

"So, my family love you, you charming bastard."

"They are really great, I had a good night."

"They're pretty crazy," I admit, then smirk. "But you fit in well."

"Just like you." Edward smirks back at me.

I pull up in front of his house and turn off the car. Turning to face him, I decide that I should probably give him an opportunity to redeem himself after the standing outside and stopping me from entering his home debacle from earlier this evening. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," he shrugs and jumps out the car.

My mouth has dropped open. What the heck, he seems so nonchalant about it, and yet it seems like he has been avoiding it for so long. Crazy boy.

"You coming?" Edward leans back in the car, quirking an eyebrow at me.

I scramble and jump out, flashing the lights as I hit lock on my keys, and follow his tall stature up to his front door.


	14. Chapter 14

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CHAPTER 14

Edward's key enters his lock and with a flick of his wrist, the door swings open, granting us entry into his home. We enter straight into the lounge, which has a couple of small two seater couches in an L shape against one wall, and a flat screen tv atop a basic white tv cabinet. There is a bookshelf to another side of the room, with a number of open boxes underneath.

In front of us is a small dining table with 4 chairs around it. To the left is the kitchen. Edward moves ahead of me and flicks on lights as he goes. "Did you want a drink of anything?" he asks over his shoulder.

"Just some water, thanks." I move towards the empty bookshelf and take a peek in the top box. Novels. I start putting some of them up onto one of the shelves and that's what I'm doing when Edward comes back into the room, two glasses of water in his hands.

"You don't need to do that for me," He smiles. "I only just put the shelf together yesterday, I will do it later."

Edward moves to the couch, places the glasses down on the coffee table and pats the spot next to him.

"I see you have been to IKEA," I smile as I move to the couch.

"Of course, it's the best place to kit out a new home on a budget." Edward grins.

"I like it. It's all fresh and clean and simple and tidy…" I lean forward and take a sip of water. "Can I see the rest of your place?"

"There's really not much else to see… but a bathroom… and my bedroom…"

"I'd like to see those things," I grin. "Especially… the bathroom."

"Oh, the bathroom, hey?" Edward laughs.

I nod and stand. Wandering towards the back of the house, I pass the kitchen, glancing in and seeing old fashioned, wooden cupboards and benchtops. The bathroom is just past that, on the left, and it too, is quite old fashioned, but clean. To the right of the bathroom entrance is Edward's bedroom.

One wall is painted a dark blue, and there is a dark wooden wardrobe and matching set of drawers against a wall. But my eyes are drawn to the middle of the room, to the dark wooden bed with a warm white thick bedspread atop. It's not been properly made and I can see the dark sheets underneath, peeking through where the quilt hasn't been pulled up straight. I toe off my shoes and pull back the bedspread and top sheet, and crawl up onto the bed. It's really comfortable, and I think to myself that if this is what a new mattress feels like I probably should invest in one. I do a couple of bounces, then get a little bit energised and bounce some more, and this is how Edward finds me, flipping up and down like a fish on my back atop his bed.

"What on earth are you doing?" he chuckles.

I stop mid-flip and sit up, biting my lip, a little embarrassed. "I don't really know, um… sorry… You have a really nice bed."

"Thanks. If I had of known you would have been jumping into my bed I would have changed the sheets…"

I laugh, lifting up the sheets to the light to get a better look. "If CSI came to your place would they be finding some body fluids on these sheets?"

"Bella, stop it, that's just gross." Edward moves further into the room, and pulls the sheets away from me. He then looks down at me, sitting in his bed. "You look good here, in my bed."

"I feel good here, in your bed." I say quietly, keeping ahold of his eye contact.

Edward leans towards me, and I reach out, pulling him forward by the back of his neck. He climbs onto the bed next to me, and pushes his lips hard against mine. I lean back, against Edward's pillows as he crawls over the top of me. His tongue presses against mine and I taste him, so sweet and intoxicating. My hands rub up against his sides, pushing his top up higher, and he pushes himself up, and so quickly rips his t-shirt over his head, throwing it backwards. His lips are back against mine so fast, and my hands are free to roam over the plains of his torso, feeling the ripple of muscles as he moves atop me.

My hands move towards his belt, but he shakes his head above me, "Not until you make it fair and take your top off."

I hastily comply, lifting my top over my head, but keeping my bra on. My hands move back to his belt, but Edward shakes his head again. I humph and reach behind myself to unclasp my bra. "Better," he smiles, and his mouth moves towards my now freed breasts. My hands are now free to undo his belt, but I'm finding it difficult doing it backwards, and I can't unclasp it. I grunt in frustration and Edward moves his own hands to undo his trousers. While he does that, I undo my jeans and begin to wiggle them down my thighs. Edward kicks off his jeans, then grasps mine and rips them off my feet with flourish. He leans back on his knees, taking in the sight of me, lying back on his bed in my undies. I smile a crooked grin, then deliberately tuck my thumbs under the top of my underpants and wriggle my hips as I lower them down over the tops of my thighs. Lower. Lower.

Edward's mouth forms a surprised 'o', and I watch as his hand moves to the growing bulge in his jocks. As he grips himself I slide one hand in between my own legs and stroke my wet heat. Edward moves to come closer, but I shake my head. "Not until you make it fair and take your jocks off."

Edward's straight, white teeth shine as his face breaks out into a brilliant smile. He peels his jocks down his legs and kicks them off, and pulls my undies off the bottoms of my legs. He then crawls over towards me, covering my naked body with his own. He kisses up my neck and to my mouth, our lips meet with such passion and I can feel his erection pressing at the apex of my thighs. I open my legs and he slides himself against me, staying on the outside.

"I'm not going to be able to stop," Edward goes to move away from me, but I clasp my arms around his and cease his movements. He frowns down at me, questioningly.

"I don't want you to stop," my voice wavers as I'm out of breath, overwhelmed by the feeling of Edward against me.

Edward strokes some of my hair back from my face, "You don't really mean that, I understand what you were saying the other night."

I shake my head in frustration at myself and my big mouth. I move my hands to the sides of his face, prickly with his growth. "I know what I said Saturday night, but I'm changing my mind. I want you. I want all of you." I press a heated kiss against his mouth, but he pulls away slightly. I pout.

"Bella, I want you too," he gestures down towards where he's still slightly pressed against me, "I think that's obvious, but I don't think you are thinking quite clearly right at the moment. I don't want to do something that you're going to regret. This means too much to me."

"I'm falling in love with you, Edward." The words shock me as they come out of my mouth, but I do mean them.

Edward looks a little overwhelmed and I am expecting him to completely roll off of me and ask me to leave. But he presses his forehead against mine and whispers, "I knew I was falling in love with you the moment you told me I had chin pubes."

I snort and begin laughing. "Really?"

Edward nods, his chest shaking with laughter. "True. I knew right then that I would do anything for this crazy girl who would have the guts to tell me the truth like that."

"That really was a terrible beard," I giggle, stroking his face. "I promise to always tell you what I think."

"I knew that already, without you promising me anything," Edward laughs.

"Alright, alright… I know, I have no tact," I roll my eyes.

"At least I know where I stand at all times! But, I love that about you, though. One of the many things I love about you." He smiles down at me. "I love you, Isabella Swan."

"I love you, Edward Cullen."

Edward's mouth opens as if he's going to speak some more, but the overwhelming chemistry that continually zings between us is at fever point already and I launch myself at him, trapping his words, unsaid behind my kiss. Our lips move together once more, but with impossibly more passion than before. The declarations of love that have passed between us have opened a floodgate of emotion that I didn't realise had been held back. Our legs tangled together, chests pressed tight, arms wrapped around each other, tongues dancing, love expressed.

I wrap my legs around Edward's slight hips and feel him press against me once more. "I'm ready, let me show how much I love you," I whisper against him.

Edward looks down at me, his dark eyes burning with feeling, and he slowly presses closer against me, his voice cracking as he breathes out, "I love you," as he finally slides his warmth home.


	15. Chapter 15

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CHAPTER 15

I am so freaking happy. I'm lying naked over Edward's bed, with the hugest grin stretched over my face. I have just made love to the most perfect, amazing man - I seriously would never have been able to dream up someone more perfect for me. He is hotness personified, his body is bloody awesome, and even though he has straight, white teeth, they suit him. But more than all of that superficial stuff: he is funny, kind, gets along with my family, even the kids, heck, even my mum. And more than any of that - he likes me. No, he loves me. He loves me despite my awful habit of being rude, crazy and tactless. Even because of that. This is crazy. I never thought that I would be this blessed.

And how our bodies connected. Oh my gosh, perfect synchronisation - it was like we were made to fit together. I have never had such intense chemistry with someone before, and I honestly came almost straight away after he entered me. Then came twice more. Seriously. That was like a triple header orgasm of love making. The man is freaking talented.

I'm curled on my side, my hands under my head, smiling as I stare at the gorgeous man asleep beside me. I tentatively bring one hand out from under my head and lightly stroke his stubbly cheek, down his neck, over his family tattoo over his heart. He stirs slightly in his sleep and I pull my hand away, with a slight giggle. I'm so amped up. I couldn't possibly fall asleep. I find it amazing that my presence here has seemed to relax Edward, and done the opposite to me. I roll out of bed, and picking up Edward's discarded t-shirt, slip that over my head and tip toe out to the toilet. I relieve myself, and catch sight of my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I wash my hands. My cheeks are flushed and my crooked teeth are on display. I cannot force my lips to close over them, I am smiling so much. I shrug, then make my way out to the dining table where I left my handbag last night. I pull out my phone and there is a text from Rosalie with a picture of her and Emmett on a hammock on this pristine looking beach, clear blue water behind them. Giggling, I tiptoe back to the bedroom and snap a photo of Edward sleeping and send it back to her with the caption "I'm jealous of where you are, but wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now".

I smile as I move back to the lounge to put my phone back in my bag. By the light of the lamp that is on in the corner I see the glasses of water on the coffee table that we abandoned when I began my search through Edward's house. My mouth feeling a bit dry I move into the lounge room and take a gulp of water.

I'm so fidgety and don't think I should jump back into bed just yet, otherwise I'll just want to touch Edward again and giggle and be silly, waking him up. I think he's working tomorrow so I'd better let him get some sleep. I'm working too, but just don't think I could possibly sleep when I'm feeling like this. I move back over to Edward's bookshelf and continue the job I had started when I had first arrived at his place. I finish shelving one box of books, then start on another. This one seems to be full of photo albums. The top one is really old looking. It has this real 80s style picture of puppies on it. Being nosy like I am, I open it and have a flick through. There is a picture of a beautiful young woman, with dark skin and hair next to a handsome man, who has blonde hair and blue eyes, and skin noticeably lighter. Her hands are clasped over a hugely pregnant belly. I recognise aspects of Edward in them both. The next page is of the young couple in hospital, baby with a head full of black hair in the lady's arms. Handwritten on the side is the words "Edward Anthony Cullen, born 8:09am 16th March, 8 pounds 7 ounces."

That reminds me that it's Edward's birthday next week. I have no idea what I should get him. I shrug and decide that I'll think of that later, because right here in front of me there are a lot of baby pictures. Edward in huge cloth nappies, Edward naked (hehehe), sitting up, crawling, toddling around, getting into mischief, food smushed all over his face. Such a happy little boy. And in many pictures, his parents, looking over fondly, hugging their baby boy.

I find another album that looks like it's from around that era and look at the pictures of Edward as a young boy, holding his new baby brother, Jasper. Edward and his brother dressed in matching outfits. They look so cute. Jasper seems to have inherited his father's colourings more so than his mother's, his hair and eyes lighter than Edward's, but still recognisably brothers.

The next album I find has school photos in it. I'm looking forward to having a gander through this one. As a young school boy Edward looks so cute! His school looks like a pretty relaxed one, his reception class photo there are kids with bare feet in the front row. I assume he wouldn't have had shoes on either, but he, seemingly always having been tall, is standing in the back row, his feet hidden by other children. His uniform was a yellow round necked t-shirt with dark green shorts. His dark hair slicked to the side in a slight comb-over style makes me giggle. I flick through the pages, seeing him lose teeth, grow teeth, have different hairstyles and go through the awkward young teenage stage. Skinny, gangly, acne… then in his later high school photos the hotness is really coming to the fore. Wowsers. If I had of had Edward at my school I definitely would have been crushing on him.

The next album I find is a family holiday album, when Edward was still a teenager. He and his brother have lots of pictures of them going on rides on the Gold Coast. They are a beautiful looking family. I look closely at the pictures of his mum, feeling really sad that I will never meet the woman with the free and easy smile. Jasper looks like a lot of fun too, he and Edward are making crazy faces in many of the pictures. They look like they get along really well. I'll have to ask Edward how close they are now. I wonder if Edward would like to go with me up to Darwin to meet his Dad and brother.

There is only a couple more albums, and they look a lot newer. I crack open one of them and my eyebrows come together in a deep frown. This is a wedding album. This is Edward's wedding album. I slam it shut.

My stomach suddenly churns and I swallow back down the glass of water that seemingly wants to make a reappearance the same way it went down. I clap my hand over my mouth and take in a few deep breaths through my nose, and settle my stomach back down slightly. I reopen the album, and look into the dark eyes of the man I love, a little younger than what he is today, as he is smiling his huge smile, decked out in a black suit, arms wrapped around a beautiful woman, her eyes shining as she smiles to the camera, a white veil clipped into her curled blonde hair.

I turn the pages soundlessly, numbly looking at picture after picture of this beautiful, nameless woman as she makes vows to love the man that I have just slept with. The man I have fallen in love with. A man I thought that I knew, but I obviously do not. He looks so handsome, so happy, standing with his brother and two other men that I do not know. I am reminded of walking down the aisle myself not even a week ago, and admiring how Emmett looked towards Rosalie. The photographer has caught that exact same moment with Edward, as he looks towards his bride. There are the full bridal party photos that I remember being a part of last weekend, fun poses, formal poses. But what makes me feel really awful is the picture of Edward's family, including his mother, with the new member of their family. This woman was able to know Edward's mother, something I will never be able to do, and that makes me really angry. I take a deep breath and settle myself. It's ok. Lots of people have failed marriages. I wish Edward had of spoken to me about this section of his past, but him being a divorcee is not a deal breaker for me. His honesty would have been appreciated though. It does make me feel a bit frustrated. As I stare at this picture, doubts begin to seep in around the edges of my acceptance. Is he actually divorced? I don't want to be fooling around with a married man. Has Edward's dishonesty caused me to put myself inadvertently in the position of 'the other woman'? Questions begin to flow. I need to talk this through.

I shut that album, place it on the shelf next to the others I had placed there earlier, while in such a different frame of mind. I look down into the box at the last remaining album and contemplate whether I should look in it or not. Or if I should go straight to Edward and ask him to chat. Then I figure, what the heck. I'm already feeling awful. I may as well continue. My hands are shaking slightly as I pick it up, but it doesn't stop me lifting back the cover and seeing the picture that is reminiscent of the first album I saw.

There is a picture of a beautiful young woman, with light skin and hair next to a handsome man, has dark hair and eyes, but skin noticeably darker. Her hands are clasped over a hugely pregnant belly. Edward and his pregnant wife.

Tears begin to fall down my cheeks. I try to sniff them back as I turn the pages, but it's useless. A picture in hospital, the woman on the bed, holding a baby with a sprinkle of light brown hair, Edward leaning against the woman, his huge smile spread over his face. Handwritten on the side are the words "Abigail Elizabeth Cullen, born 11:36pm, 30th March, 7 pounds, 6 ounces."

In the dim light I flick through the pages of baby photos, seeing Edward's daughter as she is growing up, lying on her back under a toy frame, crawling around, in beautiful dresses, toddling in lovely shoes. All the while under the watchful eye of her father and mother who are so obviously in love with her.

I stare for a long time at a picture of Abigail in Edward's arms, her little hands spread out on his cheek, his bright white teeth shining as he smiles into his daughter's face. I slowly stand, then rush to the toilet, the water finally winning in it's battle to reappear.

I don't know what to think. My imagination has always been bright, vivid, prone to exaggeration, and right now my mind is a scary place. Where is this family of his? Where is his wife? His daughter? They are obviously not here. He has never spoken of them. Not once. He has spent the last three months here in Sydney, and the year before that supposedly in South America. Is that really where he was? He has a tattoo over his heart saying 'familia'…. 'family'… and yet he is not here with his family. Divorce is one thing, but abandoning your daughter? That there, is a deal breaker for me.

I flush the toilet, then wash my hands and face at the bathroom sink. I look up into my reflection staring back at me. Gone is the flushed cheeks, smiling face of an hour before. I look scarily pale, with red, slightly swollen eyes.

Should I pretend like I don't know anything and wait and see how long it takes him to tell me? I do not think it's possible for me to pretend though. He has a wife. He has a daughter. How can I look him in the eye, knowing he hasn't told me about these pivotal things. He has said that he loves me, yet, who is he? He is a Dad! He is a husband!

Should I confront him? I'm so pissed that he hasn't been the one to come out and tell me. He should have told me. I move back into Edward's bedroom. He has rolled over onto his stomach, his left hand reaching out onto the empty space of bed. I wonder if his arm is outstretched looking for me or his wife.

I can't believe I trusted him. I let him in, told him everything about myself. This is why I have always held people at a distance, because they hurt you, leave you feeling lost and alone.

I should wake him up. I should say something. I should get him to talk to me.

Instead, I collect up my clothes that are scattered around his bedroom and pull off his t-shirt that I have been wearing. I try to silently dress as quickly as possible, then move out of the bedroom again. I pick up my handbag, then turn back to the bedroom, taking one last look, then I take the coward option and run away.


	16. Chapter 16

warm  
CHAPTER 16

I am so glad that I will be working the wards today. No emergency for me, which is fabulous considering Edward will be working today too. I will surely see him as he brings in a patient or two, and I do not know what I would say. At first I thought that he would probably think that I just skipped out on him after freaking out that we had sex. And he probably will do just that when he awakes to find me gone. But then I realise that I think I left his photo album open on his lounge room floor - open to that picture of Abigail's hand on his face. He probably will put two and two together then. I turn off my phone on the way home from Edward's. I don't particularly feel like I should be contactable right now. Driving home my legs are shaking like crazy, much like my hands. Probably not the safest way to drive.

My shift is set to start at 7am and as I pull into my driveway I catch sight of the clock on the dash. 2:12am… I should sleep, but I don't think sleep will be too conducive with my anger and hurt and general sadness. As I step into the dark, silent house I decide a shower is in order.

I stand in the shower for a long time, not washing, not shaving. Just standing. Allowing the water to run over me, wishing it could wash away the past 3 months. I wish I had never met stupid Edward. With his beard, straight white teeth, dark eyes, good butt, laugh, kisses, charm, wife and daughter.

Oh God. What a disaster.

When I finally come out of the bathroom the kitchen light is on and I can hear Alice boiling the kettle. I don't think that I am in the mood to discuss anything with my sister… if I do I know that the tears are in danger of making a reappearance. I sidle down the passage and am almost back to my room when Alice calls out.

"Don't you sneak off on me Isabella Swan! You come back here and tell me all about the rest of your evening with Mr Perfect!"

Sighing I inform her that I'm just going to get dressed. I plod up to my bedroom and pull on some daggy track pants and a t-shirt, then head up to the kitchen. It's almost 3am.

"Alice, if Edward comes round please don't let him in," I tell her, dejectedly as I sit myself down at the dining table.

Alice spins around, her face full of surprise and then she sets a frown upon her forehead. "No I bloody will not do that!"

I rub my hand over my forehead in an effort to push away the exhaustion headache that is setting in there. "Please, Alice."

"What is going on? Dinner was amazing, he was so fantastic with mum and the kids, even Ben likes him! What did you do?"

"What makes you think I did something?" I ask, bewildered.

"Because he's fucking perfect, it must be you that has stuffed this up." Alice informs me with a straight face, setting a cup of steaming hot chocolate in front of me.

"You would think that, wouldn't you. But it wasn't me. This is all him. All him."

"What, did he tell you that he loves you and it scared Miss Commitment-Phobic away?" Alice snarks at me.

"No… well, he did tell me that he loved me, but it wasn't that." I catch Alice's eye-roll. "It wasn't! I said it first, and I really liked him saying it to me, thank you very much."

"Wow.. well what's wrong then?" Alice sits down opposite me, a matching mug clasped between her hands. "You love him, he loves you.."

"He's fucking married. And he has a daughter."

Alice frowns. "Oh… and he told you about that after you'd told each other you loved each other… hmmm… I can see why you'd be a little pissed."

"He didn't tell me." I sigh.

"What? Then how did you find out? Wait, is he still married? Is his wife and kid here, in Sydney?"

"I don't know! I don't know anything! I don't know if they're still married or where they are. I was snooping through his photo-albums. I found a wedding album. And a baby album. "

"What did he say when you confronted him?" Alice asks, her eyes shining in excitement, like she's getting into some stupid soap opera.

"I didn't confront him, I ran away. Hence, if he comes over here wanting to talk to me, I do not want to talk to him."

"Oh… ok. I can't imagine you just running away. What's got into you, Bella?"

I start to cry and Alice rushes over to my side of the table and kneels beside me, her arm over my shoulders.

"I love him, I want to be with him, but he's been lying to me! Keeping huge secrets from me! We've had so many conversations, so many opportunities for him to talk to me about it, but nothing. Like, if he was divorced I probably would understand that, I don't really get the not being able to see his daughter thing though. He said that he really thinks family is important, but that must be a lie, because he's never talked to me about what should be the most important thing in his life. Either he doesn't really love me, or he doesn't really love his family. And both of those options suck. I just don't think I can see him or talk to him right now."

I'm hiccupping, and I am not sure how much Alice would have even been able to understand anything of what I just said, but she is mumbling comforting things to me and patting me on the back. I compose myself slightly, but then hear the squeal of some tyres in our driveway.

"Shit!" I hiss, and scramble into the lounge and peer out the curtain to see the faint outline of Edward's black car door open, and he jumps out, clad in a pair of shorts and a rumpled t-shirt, his hair rumpled and standing on end. Fuck he looks hot. "It's him!" I hiss to Alice. Edward's long paces stretch out and he makes it to the front door quickly. His knuckles rap against the wood, then his hands go to his hair, pulling on his dark locks, nervously.

Alice shakes out her hands and stretches her neck, like she's about to get into a fist fight. Shit, I hope she's not going to hit him. "I've got this," she says seriously, and opens the door. She stands in the doorway. "What are you doing here?" She asks, eyes narrowed at Edward.

"Can I please speak to Bella?" Edward's voice is quiet, but firm.

"She doesn't want to talk to you." Alice crosses her arms. "I think you should leave."

"I need to talk to her, please Alice, let me in."

She shakes her head. "What do you need to say to her? That she's mistaken? Edward - you have a wife. You have a daughter - THAT YOU NEVER TOLD HER ABOUT! Where do you get off?"

"Argh," Edward makes an angry noise. "Look, it's really complicated. Please, let me explain. Bella! Bella!"

I bite my lip to stop myself to calling out to him, and my finger nails are biting into my palms really hard to stop myself from jumping up and running to him. I can hear the pain in his voice, and I really do love him. I want to help stop whatever is causing him to be hurt and sad, but I just can't. I feel so manipulated. Honesty is something that I really treasure, and he has figuratively spat in the face of something that I highly regard. I cannot allow myself to be sucked in by him so easily.

"Look Edward, she's really upset and confused right now. She doesn't want to talk to you. Give her some time." Alice shuts the door.

I watch as Edward stands there, stunned for a moment, then he slowly turns back to his car. He takes a couple of steps, then turns back to the house. I shrink back, watching through the sheer curtains that I can see out of, but no one can see in with. He takes a step back to the house, then turns back to his car. I don't like seeing him looking so lost and unsure. Then, my heart breaks a little as he sinks down to the ground, sitting on the concrete, his head in his hands. Fuck. He's crying. At least, I think he's crying. He may have realised that I'm watching and he's just playing it up so I feel sorry for him and come out there.

Shit, I hate that he is making me question myself so much. I just cannot trust any of my emotions with him right now. I don't feel like I can trust him. And I hate that. How could I ever possibly be with someone that I don't trust?

I can't.

But I need to know the truth. With my insides churning I stand from my hiding place in the lounge room. I have been such a coward. I love this man, how can I allow him to be hurting? We need to talk. Stepping past Alice as she gives me a nod, encouraging me, I open the door and move towards the man I love. A man who needs to talk.


	17. Chapter 17

warm

Chapter 17

As my feet tread out of my front door and onto the footpath I think over every picture I looked at in those albums. I think about Edward's touch, his kiss. I think about all the conversations we have had over the last three months, and analyse them. What was the truth? Was any of it true? Was it all true? I think over what I could say to him, how to confront him about his hiding of the past. Possible dialogues run through my head. In a few steps I feel like an hour has passed. I take in a deep breath, vowing to make my decision based on facts, as opposed to the insane direction my crazy imagination takes me. At the sound of my breath Edward's head lifts, and his head moves to face me.

Edward sits there, his feet are unclad, like usual. And he looks absolutely wrecked. A vision of Ben Stiller in the last scene from 'There's Something About Mary' pops into my mind… when he's walking down the street, tears running down his face, sobbing.. doing the ugly cry. That is what is presented in front of me right now. Edward's mouth is comically downturned, his chin trembling, his dark eyes that are usually shining with his smile are shining with tears, tears that are spilling over. When I watched that scene in the movie I thought that was funny, but there is nothing funny about this. He looks genuinely awful. I can't speak, seeing his distress so openly displayed.

But just because my heart feels like its been wrenched out of my chest seeing the man I love so upset doesn't mean I'm going to scoop him up into my arms and hold him until he feels all better either. Sure, he looks sorry, but I need some answers. I slide past him, careful not to touch him as I do and go and sit myself next to him on the pavers, my arms enveloping my knees. The scraggly bushes that have been neglected in my front yard shield us from view from the street, but the street lights still manage to push their filtered luminescence through to illuminate us: two sorry figures, one slouched, the other wrapped in their own arms.

My fingers begin to tap an erratic rhythm upon my legs, not really with impatience, just with the need to do something with my hands. I'm feeling really nervous. But I steel myself, turning my head to the side to look up into his face. He isn't looking at me though. His head is hung really low, looking down at his lap.

"Why didn't you tell me," I breathe out quietly, but it's loud enough for Edward to hear.

He doesn't respond at first, then he speaks to his lap. "I'm such a huge fuck-up."

I don't say anything, because I am waiting for him to actually say something about what we need to talk about. He finally looks up at me, gauging my reaction to his words. My lips are tight, because upon looking into his deep eyes, so filled with sadness I am ready to forgive the world, I would give him anything. Anything. This man has my heart. I don't care about what is in his past, he is obviously invested in a relationship with me now… In the present, in the future. But our relationship has been plagued by our physical chemistry taking over, and we need to learn to talk. I need to hear this. So, lips pressed together, he probably thinks I'm being cold and unforgiving.

"There have been so many times that I should have told you. But it's not just simple… at what stage do I bring up that I have been married before? I haven't had any kind of relationship since.. since…" Edward breathes in a very shaky breath, and begins talking quickly, I think mostly to himself. "And when you told me about your Dad.. how would you deal with this? I don't know what you're going to think."

"What the heck does my Dad have to do with this?" I cannot hold in my question, and as soon as it slips through my lips I slam them shut again, wanting to allow Edward his chance to explain.

Edward wipes a hand over his face. "Tanya and I got married when I was 25, she was 24. Abigail was born a year later. I never thought that being a Dad would change me like it did. Holding this tiny life in my hands. So amazing." He gets a glazed look over his face as he speaks of his daughter, and something twinges within me, not with jealousy, but I'm intrigued by the warmth in him. He shakes his head and then continues. "Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer that same year. She was so, so sick for so long. For almost 4 years she fought so hard. We were coming back from hospital from visiting her one day. I was driving. Abi was crying in the back and Tanya was singing, trying to calm her down. I was so stressed out, wondering if that day was going to be the last time I was going to see my mum, and the crying and singing was driving me crazy. I didn't even see the other car, a drunk driver, swerving into our lane."

I gasp, my hands over my mouth, not wanting to hear where this conversation is about to go. Oh my God. This is awful. Please Edward, don't say anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can feel my head shaking, but Edward isn't looking at me anymore, his eyes are looking out towards my overgrown garden, although I doubt he's seeing the leaves and branches in front of him. I have been involved in such an accident. As Edward explains I see my own images, reliving the shattered glass, the screech of brakes, the crumple of metal…

"I tried to brake. It was too late. He cleaned us up, and our car slammed into a power pole, right on the side of the car the girls were sitting." Edward breaks down. Sobs wrack his body, much like his silent laughing, but this time is not mirth. I shuffle closer next to him, wrapping my arms around him. "If… if I had of been paying more attention I may have been able to avoid the accident.."

"No, no, no… you can't think like that. It's not your fault. It's not your fault." I continue murmuring as I press his body against mine, feeling his breathing continue to shake as he is forced to relive the tragedy that he's been trying to live with.

"Abi died instantly. Tanya held on for a couple of weeks, but never woke up again. Mum died a month after that. I was such a mess. After the funerals I resigned from my ambo job and just left for South America. Jasper packed up my stuff, sold most of it. I couldn't deal with going through it all. Needed to start off fresh. After taking time out for the year, connecting with the Silva side of the family, that's my mum's family, the Silva's… After that I felt much better, but just couldn't go back to Darwin. My old boss was really understanding and put in for a transfer here for me. And here I am." Edward looks at me intensely. "I never want to hurt you, I am so sorry I didn't tell you straight away."

"I understand," I clasp his hands. How could he have? Sure, he probably could have come straight out with it, but when we met it was just when he was getting re-settled. It was probably the last thing he wanted to think about, he is rebuilding his life. And then him hearing about how I lost my Dad, wow, that must have brought all those feelings up again for him. "Oh my God… I'm so sorry that I left out those albums… What you must have been faced with when you went into the lounge."

Edward looks down. "That sucked."

I feel horrible. I'm still a bit frustrated that he hadn't told me, but I do understand why he hadn't. And me leaving out in the open pictures of his dead wife and daughter. Man, I am an awful person.

"But what sucked the most, was that you weren't there when I woke up, after the best night I've had in so fucking long."

"I should have stayed and talked to you straight away. Tonight has ended up horrible for each of us, all because I am stubborn and un-trusting. I'm sorry."

"No," Edward pulls me closer in against him, his nose burying into my hair, "Before things got so serious between us I should have opened up to you. Last night I shouldn't have let things go so far, without having had that conversation. But, man, I don't regret last night. That was so amazing, I have never felt like that with anyone. Ever." He places his palms on my cheeks. "I love you. I love you."

I feel a tear slip down my cheek. "I love you too."

"We can work this out, ok?"

I nod. We're going to have to, because I can't live without him. And now that I know the truth I know that is a possibility.

~warm~

My hand is clasped in Edward's, as we sit on the lounge suite in his father's house. We have flown up to Darwin for the Easter long weekend. I have got along with Edward's dad and brother pretty well. I thought it would be much more awkward than what it has been. They have hardly seen each other in almost two years, so there has been a lot of catching up to do.

Since Edward and I had our confrontation, we have spoken a lot about Abigail and Tanya. He has spent so long ignoring it, so there is a lot of emotion behind those conversations, but it has been good to get it all out there. It's weird, I don't want to be 'living with their ghosts' as such, but it's inevitable that those memories, those feeling are going to be there. They were his family. He loves them, and probably always will. But I also know that he does love me too.

We haven't actually slept together since that night. Not out of me punishing Edward or anything, I think we just needed to take a little bit of a step back from the physical intensity that exists between us. It is there, oh boy, is it there, but we need to work out the emotional stuff before we can go further with our relationship.

When I finally came back inside that night Alice was still up and waiting for me. She has been such a support to me through the whole mess. Ditzy and dramatic as she can be, she has proven to be stable and logical when I have needed her to be. Although, her craziness still shines through.

"Well," she said to me the other day as we were eating our dinner together. "At least you know that Edward isn't averse to commitment and his little spermies work."

"What the hell, Allie!" I splutter, almost choking on my mouthful of chicken schnitzel.

"You know it's true. I bet you've thought that." She raises her eyebrows at me. Of course I'd thought that, but I am not going to admit that to her. "One day you're going to make beautiful babies together. Fact."

See, still crazy.

I had a great chat with Jasper yesterday, while Edward and his dad went for a drive to "look at BBQ's", but I think that was just an excuse to spend some time together. I quizzed him a bit about Tanya. I've talked with Edward a bit about her, but I don't feel completely comfortable bringing her up with him.

"She wasn't like you at all," Jasper tells me. "At all. She was really quiet and shy."

I elbow him in the side, "What are you saying about me, hey?"

"You know you're crazy."

Ooh, he's cheeky. "You haven't met my sister, that's a whole lot of crazy. I'm positively sane in comparison."

"I don't think I could cope with craziness on that scale. You're enough." I slap at him this time. "But what I mean is, when Edward mentioned you in a phone conversation just after he'd met you, I thought that he was just trying to fill that gap that Tanya left."

I frown, but allow him to say it. It had crossed my mind since hearing about his family that he was doing that. "And do you still think that?"

"No. Not anymore. I think if that was what he was doing you'd be more like her. It's not like you're her opposite either, so it's not like he's trying to find something that would never remind him of her in you, you're both just really different. Aside from the physical differences, cos they are there. But, she wouldn't really connect with any of us, being so quiet it was hard to carry a conversation. You're not her opposite in that you don't dominate conversation, but you engage with people. You're not crazy bubbly or anything, but you're much more chatty."

"She was beautiful, she had nice teeth too." I mumble to myself.

"What?" Jasper laughs at me. He has straight teeth too, not quite as white as his brother's, but they're straight enough. Dick.

"I have teeth issues," I brush aside my silly comments. "So, Edward told you about me?"

"Yes, I'd ring him a bit, check in, see how he was going. There was a definite change in his tone after he'd met you. I rang him just after he'd almost run you down on his bike, apparently," I remember the phone call Edward received that night that saved me from being hypnotised by his eyes and teeth that night at the gym. Maybe that was Jasper calling. "He said he'd just met some new friends, and he was looking forward to getting to know you. He practically talked of nothing else whenever I talked to him after that. You've made him very happy."

I feel a tingle inside me, knowing that I'd been some kind of help, but then I think of how difficult I've made things too. "He's been great to me as well. We help each other."

Edward's dad, Carl has found some old videos and we're all in the lounge, watching old home movies. Edward's hand is clasped in mine, and we're laughing at the vision of all the family. A few tears are shed over the course of the evening, as we see their mother, Esme, and as we watch Tanya and eventually Abigail come into their lives. Carl, Jasper and Edward are all providing funny anecdotes and explanations behind the footage we're witnessing.

It's really interesting to see the footage of some family Christmas's, to watch how Tanya really wasn't involved in any interaction. The camera would move over to her, usually sitting a little bit aside from the rest of the family, covering her face when the camera came close. I can never imagine being like that. I am usually right in the midst of any craziness, always having a stupid face to pull for any camera in sight. We do seem quite different.

I do feel a little tightening of jealousy when I see Edward with her though. I don't want to. But it's there. It's real. But it's not anything that I can't cope with. This is his past. I can't do anything to change that. It's something that I am learning to accept, but I'm still learning. Not quite 100% there yet.

What really causes my heart to break though is when I start to see the footage of Abigail.

She was such a gorgeously beautiful baby. And seeing Edward with her in his arms makes me feel so much grief. That such a young life has been cut short is tragic. And she was so very much loved. I see her toddling to the arms of her grandparents, being swung around by her uncle Jasper. Opening presents at her birthdays and Christmas's. I find it hard to breathe knowing that this little darling is no longer able to experience any of those things. I can't stop the tears from dripping down my face, watching Abi skip down the hallway singing twinkle twinkle little star, her high voice so sweet and innocent, her light brown hair in pig-tails.

"What's your name?" Carl speaks through the television, from behind the camera.

"Abi!" she cries out. "You know that Grandpa!"

"And how old are you?"

"I be 3!" 5 little pudgy fingers are held up, touching the lens of the camera.

"And who loves you?"

"Everyone!" she squeals and turns, running back down the hallway.

I try to wipe away some of the tears, but it's not use. Edward squeezes my fingers tightly.

"I'm so glad I got to be her Dad," Edward whispers.

I look up into his tear-stained face, and see a smile peeking through.


	18. Chapter 18

warm  
CHAPTER 18

"It's freaking freezing!" Edward has a thick, woollen navy jacket over the top of a white knitted jumper, over a black shirt, over a white singlet, above his dark maroon jeans and black boots. He's stamping his feet and rubbing his hands together.

"Nice shoes," I laugh, as we walk up to the McCarty's front door.

"I know, I know, you told me that I needed to get used to wearing them… bloody Sydney winters. " Edward grumbles. "Maybe we could move to Queensland."

"We, huh?" I press the doorbell.

"Of course, I'm not leaving you here."

"You'd have to put a ring on it first," I smile, teasing him. His bright grin shines through and he can't comment back as the door is opened by Emmett.

"Hi guys," Emmett kisses our cheeks and leads us through to the kitchen, where everyone is gathered.

"Bella! Edward!" Rosalie leaps up and clasps each of us in a huge hug, followed both sets Emmett and Rose's parents. "So good to see you guys again!"

It's been almost 6 months since the wedding, and this is the first time we have all been able to align schedules with everyone since they got their wedding photos back. Their work has kept them so busy, Emmett has just completed filming the current season of the biggest loser and now has some time off.

"You've chopped off all your hair!" I gasp, running my fingers through Rosalie's short, chin length bob.

Rose runs a hand over her new, short hair. "I'm still getting used to it, they chopped off so much!"

"You look very professional and grown up, Mrs McCarty." I tease her.

Alice and Emmett's and Rosalie's parents are all sitting at the long formal dining table with a whole heap of albums out, looking at wedding photos. We join them and begin to choose our favourites. Edward asks for a copy of one of just me all dressed up and posed, looking fancy.

They are gorgeous pictures, I'm reminded of how beautiful that day was, with Rose looking like such a princess.

"I love this one," I gesture to one with Emmett and Rosalie standing underneath an old tree, their hands clasped together, looking at each other. It's in black and white and looks really classic and beautiful.

"We're getting that one blown up really big," Emmett nods at me then gestures to some more he has set aside, "As well as these ones."

After we've looked through all the wedding pictures, out come the honeymoon ones. The Maldives look so amazingly beautiful.

"I so need to go here!" Alice sighs as she eyes a photo of a clear white sandy beach with crystal blue waters.

We all agree whole heartedly.

I bring out the bottle of wine that I brought around and offer everyone a drink. Rosalie declines and gets a glass of water instead. I have a sudden realisation.

"You're pregnant!"

Rosalie spins around to me, her face surprised and Emmett's mouth drops. Edward gets an amazed grin on his face and claps Emmett on the shoulder in congratulations. Alice hasn't moved or said a word.

"How… how did you know?" Rosalie squeaks eventually.

"Your hair! You have a mum cut! And you wouldn't drink any wine."

"I had my hair cut a couple of weeks ago, we only just found out I was pregnant yesterday!"

"Oh… but I am right! You're going to be a mummy!" I rush to her, pulling her into a huge hug.

Mrs Hale pulls Rosalie out of my arms and into her own, with Emmett's mother hovering to do the same. I spot Mr Hale giving Emmett a stink eye, making Emmett look a bit uncomfortable, but then he shakes his hand, maybe giving him a little bit of a tight squeeze. I give Emmett a huge hug as well, congratulating him.

Edward pulls me back into his arms, and I squeal as I say, "That is so cool."

"One day," Edward whispers into my ear, "I'm going to make beautiful babies with you."

Heat pools within me, and I'm glad that hearing about our friends having a baby isn't making him upset, it seems to be making him horny. "You'd have to put a ring on it first," I quip, turning to smile at him.

"I intend to," Edward whispers against my lips.

"How far along are you, dear?" Mrs McCarty asks, leading us all into the lounge room.

"I'm over 8 weeks, things have been really busy with work that I didn't realise that I was so late," Rosalie explains. "And I've been feeling so sick and tired, so went to the doctors yesterday. I hadn't put two and two together until he asked if it was possible that I was pregnant."

"Do you really want to have kids so soon?" Mr Hale grunts.

I grin as I watch as Emmett puts his arm protectively around his wife's shoulders. "We cannot wait to start a family. This is going to be wonderful."

Mr Hale nods at him respectfully. Somethings stirs in me at this sight. I recall seeing Mr Hale pass Rosalie's hand over to Emmett during their wedding ceremony - an official handing over of his daughter into the hands of her husband. I remember feeling like something significant was occurring - that he was saying to Emmett that it was his turn to keep Rosalie safe. And right now, as I see Rose's father nod at her husband, I see a last little bit of letting go. Emmett is trustworthy, he is going to be a wonderful husband and father. And Mr Hale is letting him know that. Wow, that was cool. Tears sting my eyes, I wish my dad was around to do that for Edward and me.

Edward squeezes my knee, and I look up into his concerned face. I blink back the tears and smile at him, letting him know I'm ok. And I am. We cannot change the past. It still hurts us, it still echoes around our present and future, but we can work to make the most of where we find ourselves. We have found each other despite our hurt, and despite it we will find happiness in the future.

After a while Rosalie smother's a yawn and I whisper to Edward that we probably should leave them to it and he agrees, and we take our leave. I make plans to have a coffee with Rose the next day and we do the rounds of hugs and kisses and finally make it out the door about 20 minutes later.

"I can't believe that you blurted out that she was pregnant!" Edward laughs at me on our way home, heaters blasting hot air out of the vents. "I just can't believe that you picked it. It's not like she drinks every time you offer her one."

"I'm telling you, it was the hair. I reckon she knew without knowing and that's why she cut it off. Mums always cut their hair, Rosalie and I have laughed about it heaps before."

"That's crazy, not every mum cuts their hair, you know. I love your hair, when you're barefoot and pregnant with my babies are you going to chop yours off as well?"

"Barefoot? Why would I be barefoot? That's you, mate." I laugh. "I don't know if i'll cut my hair off. Maybe I'll never have babies."

"You'll want my babies," Edward is confident. "You wont keep your legs shut to me forever."

"Edward, don't be gross! Besides, there is such a thing as contraception. Just because you're dipping your wick doesn't mean we'll be making babies."

"Now you're being gross," Edward pulls into my driveway, his teeth shining, showing me he's not grossed out by my crass mouth.

I shake my head and move to get out of the car. Edward grabs my hand and pulls me back in for a kiss. My gosh, it's been difficult not sleeping together again… now that I know what it's like to have his heat right within me… but after that first time blew up in our faces we've both been a little hesitant to go there again. We do plenty of other things, and my goodness that man is talented with his long, strong fingers and his delicious mouth and tongue. But the lines of communication are much more open and we have been bound together by much more than just physical chemistry. I am much more trusting and kind; Edward has been open and honest. To be completely honest, I want him so badly… we just need to talk about it. I decide that once we finish our kiss we'll talk about it. Or maybe I'll just show him how much I want him now.

"I'm taking you out for dinner for your birthday next week," Edward breathes heavily into my mouth when I finally pull away from his magnetic lips, about to head southwards, but his words halt my attempted seduction.

"Please not somewhere fancy again," I sigh. "You know how well that turned out last time!"

"Somewhere nice, but somewhere that you can eat," He smiles at me. "Now, get out of my car, I need to go home and get some sleep, I'm working tomorrow, stop trying to grope me."

I bite my lip sheepishly as I step out of the car and Edward adjusts himself, then flashes his pearly whites at me. Sighing, I watch his car drive away.


End file.
